Feb. 6th, 2009

raybear: (tattoo)
I was feeling a bit lazy, but just convinced myself to cook a real breakfast this morning by telling myself it wasn't really cooking, I was just heating things in a pan, namely leftover brown rice and salsa (with two eggs in the middle). Then layer them together in a bowl. Bless that past self, because this is the most delicious breakfast ever.

So, a couple months ago my (great-)Aunt Margaret passed away, my father had e-mailed me about it. I didn't respond at the time, it was around the holidays and I'd made that decision. He e-mailed me a week and a half ago, a few line 'checking-in' e-mail. I wrote him back on Wednesday and told him about my layoff. It was partly to feel out whether I want to contact them about my impending visit. He wrote me yesterday to say Uncle Dub (Aunt Margaret's husband) has died that morning. That is last of my childhood elders. I've been grieving in small bits their loss for 8 years because of their absence from my life, and now its almost a relief, I feel reflective of their presence and the memories imprinted at a young age. Thinking about Uncle Dub specifically, and Aunt Margaret, I'm even realizing how their marital dynamic has similarities to my own. Also, I found it remarkable as a young child that they were the first male-female couple I knew where the woman drove the car all the time. I was never explicitly told that men have to drive or that women can't, but who needs to be told that is a rule when every example around you verifies this observation? I know it is generally the standard way that all children's brains work, studying closely the behavior of people around for clues on how everything works, but I always felt very aware of myself doing it, and doing it for longer and more intensely than others around me.

Last night was an unexpected friend sleepover involving tuna melts, peanut m&m's and the original Friday the 13th movie. J-Hud has never seen it, and I saw part of it at a slumber party when I was 10 or so and didn't recall much of anything about it. We screamed several times. I feel totally compelled to rent the sequel. This was "research" for going to see the remake next weekend -- I'm looking at a midnight showing on Thursday.

May 2010

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