Jun. 6th, 2009

day four

Jun. 6th, 2009 10:28 am
raybear: (Default)
The house is empty, I took Sophie to the 9 am appointment and had to leave her behind for further tests and x-rays and now I'm waiting for a phone call to go back. I tell myself I am not one of those people, that I love my animals, but not like that, maybe I was just being judgmental, to hide behind that a little, because during the walk home, it was impossible not to cry, luckily I had sunglasses, luckily few people walk anymore, the sidewalks were mine to publicly weep, and even just now I hear a noise in the next room and assumed it was her snorting while dozing, but then I realize, no, she's not here, the house is empty. Wow, this is maudlin, she's NOT DEAD YET, she is at the doctors, they will figure something out and fix her. The vet is not opposed to my various theories either, he is being reasonable but also slightly aggressive in wanting to diagnose, the timeline is starting to look a bit more critical, I suppose, given the lack of eating and now the vomiting. I have spent so much time in the past few days cleaning up bodily fluids from rugs and cooking homemade bland foods to try to coax her into eating and staying home so I can take her out every 4 hours "just in case" and I do this because that's what you do for your dog, you show up, everyday, and they show up too, and the reason I cried on the way home is because that is the only relationship that has proven so steadfast and committed in my life for the past 7 years (it was around Memorial Day in 2002), she has shown up for me everyday, and I have been emotionally taxed these few months, that is exacerbating it, I know, I recognize that, but still this is worrying me enough to consider the possibility of something I knew would happen eventually could show up sooner rather than later and I don't want that at all.

Also, its totally silly, but I feel like I'm cheating at 300 words challenge because I actually have immediate trauma in my face to detail out.
raybear: (mr. lunch)
The blood tests, bile tests, x-rays, all came back normal. This is good. A little weird, as there's still no concrete explanation, but it does support my theory, which is that this is just her sensitive digestion getting wrecked by one thing (a bad can of dog food) and then another getting heaped onto it back to back, like the antibiotics causing the nausea/vomiting, etc. They force fed her a little, gave her an antiemetic, and she's kept it all down so far. I will boil her up some hamburger meat in a few hours and hopefully she will be excited to eat a little. They also gave her an IV of some fluids and so she came home with a strange liquidy hump on her back that leaks. It is disturbing. Luckily it is just leaking saline, nothing bloody or gross. I will keep giving her the tablets pepcid and one of the antibiotics (but not the other that is nausea-inducing) and now also an anti-nausea pill, and keep feeding her bland people food and hopefully with some patience, all with be okay in a few days. I am still worried, but significantly less so, all the talk of x-rays and liver masses and blockages was upsetting, obviously, not just emotionally but also, um, I'm unemployed. Its bad enough to feel sad for your sick pet and scared they will die, it doesn't help to calm down from that only to worry how they hell will you pay for anything. I am lucky though, Sophie has another parent to help with expenses, I have room on a credit card, there is no talk of doggie chemotherapy, it will be fine, it just makes me aware and grateful. Also, thank you for people who left comments and send good thoughts, I know I have sent up many prayers on behalf of my friends' animals and I'm grateful to receive the same.

May 2010

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