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I just read this and was rather moved. And impressed. I need to comment and tell her.
The past few days I've had this "fantasy" or vision type daydream of me being a 19 year old geeky gay bioboy who follows home another young geeky gay boy (usually with dark toussled hair, glasses, unpretentious clothing and not-skinny at all) where we sit on a futon on the floor, smoke lots of cigarettes and make out while listening to Magnetic Fields. I'm not sure why it appeals to me so much. Perhaps it's the simplicity of the image. It also matches my sense of fumbling.
I sometimes wonder about the cycle of my attractions to -- the times I'm feeling more attracted to men is when I'm searching for my own sense of self and attractiveness. I never stop being attracted to anyone -- boys or girls. Sometimes one feels stronger than the other. Or I should just say it pops up more often. Like somedays I notice gay boys in my neighborhood, but the next I'm looking at the dykes. The weird days are the ones where I find myself mesmerized by the yuppie women.
Cancer
Tuesday, October 16, 2001
You'll probably feel like spending a lot of your time around the house right now. And it's a good idea for you to focus your energies there at this time, whether that means taking the initiative in any matters involving your family, taking the time to sort out any personal issues of your own, or even just getting going on with anything that you've been meaning to deal with around the house.
The past few days I've had this "fantasy" or vision type daydream of me being a 19 year old geeky gay bioboy who follows home another young geeky gay boy (usually with dark toussled hair, glasses, unpretentious clothing and not-skinny at all) where we sit on a futon on the floor, smoke lots of cigarettes and make out while listening to Magnetic Fields. I'm not sure why it appeals to me so much. Perhaps it's the simplicity of the image. It also matches my sense of fumbling.
I sometimes wonder about the cycle of my attractions to -- the times I'm feeling more attracted to men is when I'm searching for my own sense of self and attractiveness. I never stop being attracted to anyone -- boys or girls. Sometimes one feels stronger than the other. Or I should just say it pops up more often. Like somedays I notice gay boys in my neighborhood, but the next I'm looking at the dykes. The weird days are the ones where I find myself mesmerized by the yuppie women.
Cancer
Tuesday, October 16, 2001
You'll probably feel like spending a lot of your time around the house right now. And it's a good idea for you to focus your energies there at this time, whether that means taking the initiative in any matters involving your family, taking the time to sort out any personal issues of your own, or even just getting going on with anything that you've been meaning to deal with around the house.