an e-mail to Da Man

[raybear]

[a short paragraph revealing xmas gifts has been deleted]

Subject: "Remember that MTV footage of Tipper?" OF COURSE!!
To: "Damon Brown"

> The 4-Non Blondes woman can come, too...
> assuming she'd like me. Is she
> a lesbian? You know I got fked up gaydar. Alright,
> it's not THAT fked up...

Well, first you must learn her name before you kick it
with her. It's Linda Perry. And she's a
little...gritty for my taste. Which is like crunchy,
but in an urban way. I just made that isht up, and
now I'm using it ALL the time. anyway, you can have
her. And it might even be possible, since I think
she's bisexual. Or at least was when she first came
out.

> Speaking of, did I tell you that I thought MelRo's
> friend Tara was hot? Yes,
> I know the deal, but it doesn't matter like John
> Denver. She's still hot.

Um, I have nothing to say to this. Just wanted to
reiterate. She's such a lesbian. Yes, your gaydar is
fcked up. But you're right, she's also a very hot
lesbian.

> Tipper Gore is one of the few women where I'm like
> "Yeah, she's cute, but I
> can't see myself getting with her or doing anything
> with her."

Suit yourself. More Tipper for me.

Ok, now I just feel extra-sleazy. I must shower.

I had a Burger King chicken sandwich for lunch and it
tasted just like those chicken sandwiches that my high
school cafeteria served. Sorta tasty, but sorta make
you want to vomit. Luckily I got the onion rings to
help settle things down.

Still no word from the road warriors. Except Mad Max,
but he doesn't count. He got old.

[....]
Oh, and a new XXL is out.
Guess who's on the cover? DMX. No, I'm serious. Why
do I suddenly think he's all hot? Are my hormones up
or something? Funny how a random attraction will come
out of nowhere. Maybe I just like him always rapping
about holding his....and other people sucking...

I'm going to stop now.
I can't believe I talked about getting busy with
Tipper Gore and DMX in the same e-mail. I think I
just ripped a whole in the space-time continuum.

Comments

[freakysparks.livejournal.com]

Linda Perry's gritty in a good way. I'd like to have *her* stuck to the roof of my mouth.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

For some reason Linda Perry has little appeal to me (but I wasn't necessarily implying that by calling her "gritty", which is just descriptive, not judgmental). Hmm.

But I still think she and Pink are a cute couple.

[freakysparks.livejournal.com]

Yes they do. What's that "I'm Coming Out" song about anyway?

[bias-cut.livejournal.com]

i always knew that there must be other hot queer tara's out there.