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I'd like to welcome you to the 750th entry of Raybear.
And what a long strange trip it's been. And in honor of the occasion, I'd like to share my very first LJ entry:
"so i've been trying to journal for a long time, especially now that i've started my transition as an FTM, but i don't have the patience to use a real pen anymore -- very tragic. i also need instant gratification paired with public exposure of my innermost dark secrets. obviously, livejournal was the way to go."
My journal sort of started as a correspondence to an imaginary friend. Particularly since when I started NO one was reading at all and none of my "real-life" friends knew of it. I also wrote very sporadically, and mostly tended to post long e-mails I was sending to friends, so I didn't have to double-type the goings-on of my life. Coincidentally enough, my journal entry frequency starts to pick up around the time I meet MelRo -- I guess she gave me stuff to talk about.
Strange, but my beginning entries are not terribly insightful or particularly intimate. I think I've shared the most in the period about a year ago -- late winter/early spring, and then again in the summer. I shared a LOT last summer -- it was the depository for all of the super intense feelings I was going through with the separation, ethical slut issues, as well as moving stuff. Plus, my general everyday anxiety and goofballness.
I'm still not sure what I want this journal to be. Complete and total honesty becomes increasingly more difficult with the numerous overlaps in my life, but I also enjoy the purpose it serves in keeping connected with friends, particularly those in other cities. I guess in the end if it provides some sort of record of me during a certain time, that's enough. No matter what form it takes, a journal will always be incomplete.
"so i've been trying to journal for a long time, especially now that i've started my transition as an FTM, but i don't have the patience to use a real pen anymore -- very tragic. i also need instant gratification paired with public exposure of my innermost dark secrets. obviously, livejournal was the way to go."
My journal sort of started as a correspondence to an imaginary friend. Particularly since when I started NO one was reading at all and none of my "real-life" friends knew of it. I also wrote very sporadically, and mostly tended to post long e-mails I was sending to friends, so I didn't have to double-type the goings-on of my life. Coincidentally enough, my journal entry frequency starts to pick up around the time I meet MelRo -- I guess she gave me stuff to talk about.
Strange, but my beginning entries are not terribly insightful or particularly intimate. I think I've shared the most in the period about a year ago -- late winter/early spring, and then again in the summer. I shared a LOT last summer -- it was the depository for all of the super intense feelings I was going through with the separation, ethical slut issues, as well as moving stuff. Plus, my general everyday anxiety and goofballness.
I'm still not sure what I want this journal to be. Complete and total honesty becomes increasingly more difficult with the numerous overlaps in my life, but I also enjoy the purpose it serves in keeping connected with friends, particularly those in other cities. I guess in the end if it provides some sort of record of me during a certain time, that's enough. No matter what form it takes, a journal will always be incomplete.