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Yesterday I called in sick to work and stayed home with Melanie -- her last full day before leaving for Vermont. I'm expecting to get a phone call from her any moment to say she's leaving the premises and hitting the highway to New England. I really felt like I dealt with all the major issue surrounding her leaving, so all that was left last night and this morning were the basic childlike feelings of "I'm going to miss you so much -- two months is so long!" But these feelings are ok, because I show myself that I really have manage to let this person into my life and I let myself have a major supporter. I know things will be fine this summer -- even great, if I let them. And I know I'm going to maintain contact with her -- e-mail most every day, phone a few times a week -- so it's not like I'm losing her as a support for 2 months. I really do want to spend the time focusing on making myself better, as far as more stable, balanced, in better shape (physically and emotionally) and to be just an overall happier person. For myself, and for the sake of the relationship. It'll be easier to do that because I'll have a different perspective of myself when I'm not with her as much.
Luckily, I have the bookstore tonight and tomorrow. I'm sort of annoyed that I have to go, because I want to just go home and mope, but I know it won't be good for me. So it's probably better to keep myself busy. And I have tons of friends I need to call who will keep me occupied and such. AND I have my sound engineering course to get started on. But I am going to let myself be a little sad and mopey for a short period of time -- I find it easier to humour myself and then just move on.
I didn't get to make her a mixtape for her roadtrip, but I did make her a copy of an old one so she'd have soemthing new to listen to. I did make the tape for N___ for her trip to Denver -- I entitled it "Hip Hop Sing-A-Long".
It's so fcking hot right now. One of the benefits of g.e. leaving is that I won't have to sleep in her apartment that currently has no a/c. I'm sure if she had stayed around this summer, we would have done something about that, but still. Luckily my electric bill is really low (it's usually onle $20 for like 2-3 months), so I can treat myself and crank up my window unit to high every night and sleep on the down comforter. Woo-hoo. It's one of the few luxuries of which I partake. Though considering I "stole" the window unit from a previous apartment....
Work is busy today, which is good. And I'm feeling more motivated to work on the complete restructuring/organization of the archives/research files. Yay. Today -- moving cabinets! Nothing like physical labor to help make the day go more quickly. And no, I'm not being facetious.
I'm already missing her in advance. Like I don't necessarily miss her right this moment, but I'm thinking about being at home tomorrow night and how I'll miss her then. I'm sorta pathetic. I was fairly proud of our goodbye this morning -- I was teary-eyed enough to maintain my sensitive manly wussy boy reputation, but without being too over-the-top or drama queenish. Ha.
Fie on separation anxiety, fie.
And one last thing -- I'd like to request from my small LJ community that every one think happy happy positive thoughts as Melanie drives from
Chicago to Vermont by herself. Think about no breakdowns, no accidents, no freaky road harassers, no running out of gas, and no getting exhausted. Thanks in advance.
Luckily, I have the bookstore tonight and tomorrow. I'm sort of annoyed that I have to go, because I want to just go home and mope, but I know it won't be good for me. So it's probably better to keep myself busy. And I have tons of friends I need to call who will keep me occupied and such. AND I have my sound engineering course to get started on. But I am going to let myself be a little sad and mopey for a short period of time -- I find it easier to humour myself and then just move on.
I didn't get to make her a mixtape for her roadtrip, but I did make her a copy of an old one so she'd have soemthing new to listen to. I did make the tape for N___ for her trip to Denver -- I entitled it "Hip Hop Sing-A-Long".
It's so fcking hot right now. One of the benefits of g.e. leaving is that I won't have to sleep in her apartment that currently has no a/c. I'm sure if she had stayed around this summer, we would have done something about that, but still. Luckily my electric bill is really low (it's usually onle $20 for like 2-3 months), so I can treat myself and crank up my window unit to high every night and sleep on the down comforter. Woo-hoo. It's one of the few luxuries of which I partake. Though considering I "stole" the window unit from a previous apartment....
Work is busy today, which is good. And I'm feeling more motivated to work on the complete restructuring/organization of the archives/research files. Yay. Today -- moving cabinets! Nothing like physical labor to help make the day go more quickly. And no, I'm not being facetious.
I'm already missing her in advance. Like I don't necessarily miss her right this moment, but I'm thinking about being at home tomorrow night and how I'll miss her then. I'm sorta pathetic. I was fairly proud of our goodbye this morning -- I was teary-eyed enough to maintain my sensitive manly wussy boy reputation, but without being too over-the-top or drama queenish. Ha.
Fie on separation anxiety, fie.
And one last thing -- I'd like to request from my small LJ community that every one think happy happy positive thoughts as Melanie drives from
Chicago to Vermont by herself. Think about no breakdowns, no accidents, no freaky road harassers, no running out of gas, and no getting exhausted. Thanks in advance.
