Weekend, like Black Eyed Peas

Here's the blow-by-blow of my weekend.

Friday evening: Dinner at Giordano's with my gang aka my family of friends. I had a great time, was thrilled with the number of folks who came, and got a couple super cool gifts from folks (thanks Meg! (if you happen to be reading this -- I'm e-mailing you right after I post))
After dinner, Damon, La____, De____, & I went over to the Lyons Den, this weird sportsish bar and hugn out there until my friend Dy___'s band played. I had several drinks and it was pretty loud and not really my style, but it was fun to see them play (they're becoming such rock stars! such posturing! it was quite amusing....). We walked back to Damon's apt, stopping at an all-night diner and had some good conversations. La___ caught a cab home, but De___ and I just walked, so I didn't get home til about 3:30 am, but I had completely sobered up, aired out from cigarettes, and walked off all the food I had eaten. So I think it helped me sleep sounder.

Saturday: Woke up at 9:45, despite falling asleep after 4am. Watched a bizarre and cheesy yet mesmerizing movie on Lifetime starring Robert Urich and Joanna Kerns. Why do I love her so much? Not sure. I left the house only once -- two blocks to Walgreens to pick up my hormones. Damon came over in the evening, we watched Titan A.E., played some video games, watched Mad TV and SNL, then he spent the night on the futon.

Sunday: Hung out in the morning, then went down to the Black Pride Expo around noon. It was totally dead and we sat at the booth for 2 hours with barely any intereactions with folks. A couple people walked by, but the only one I actually talked to extensively were a couple of HRC volunteers who came over to eye the competition. Their words. Sort of. When I started talking about cases we were working on and what Lambda does, one guy's eyes glazed over and his friend wandered off a few feet to light his cigarette. Damon tried not to laugh at them and their bizarre behavior. One of them got hurt by a sour warhead candy that he popped in his mouth without actually reading the label. Then they walked away. I suggest that perhaps they should become familiar with what's on the inside and not just make assumptions because the label is pretty. Ahem.
We went and got a sandwich, then hopped on the train. I stopped by Melanie's apt to check their mail, and ended up call her up. We got into sort of a long weird complex discussion about fooling around and hooking up and feeling left out and rules and then she had to go suddenly because she was at work. I felt bad that it ended sort of un-resolved. I went home and wrote her a letter, though I know she won't get it until Wednesday, and we might talk today, so it will be redundant, but I felt better after writing it all down.
Last night I watched some TV, worked a bit on my coursework, and scratched a few records. I watched the Chris Isaak Show and they had a trans character which I'm still trying to figure out, as far as how they portrayed the whole thing. It definitely wasn't perfect, but it wasn't horrible. It was fairly realistic, which means there were plenty of stupid comments made (as there are in real life), but she was ultimately a positive well-rounded character who became pretty well-liked. And they never actually "explained" her trans-ness, which I liked. She just was. Hmmm. I'm thinking about going to the Showtime website and seeing if folks have posted anything there.

Monday: I'm at work. I tried to call Melanie this morning, because I was hoping she would call me last night, but she didn't get a chance. I wanted to tell her this morning that I sent a letter and that we can talk more later about our conversation, but I wanted to just reassure myself and her that I love her. I feel like such a dork sometimes. But I have major issues about saying goodbye or ending interactions when not everything has been said. This applies to fights, but also to non-angry or non-sad conversations as well. So I get all freaked out if I hang up the phone with her and I feel like not everything is out on the table. I didn't get to talk much this morning, but she might try and call me later. I hope so, but I'm also trying not to get freaked out if she doesn't, because I know she's busy.
Now I'm at work and must get back to work.

Mr. Boddy.

(Funny how quickly time passes when one actually is busy at work.)

I have this feeling that I'm getting ready to lose more weight. I mean, realistically speaking, I'm probably losing it fairly steadily, but I feel like it happens in waves. I remember about 5-6 months ago I was doing the whole standing-in-front-of-the-mirror-in-only-my-briefs thing, and I didn't feel smaller, but I felt that my flesh was looser -- more separated from my muscle and softer/thinner. Probably not explaining this well. I think what happens is that I lose fat/gain muscle, but it takes longer for my skin and such to tighten around myself. So anyway, last night I was actually having a good body night, bouncing around in my underwear and whatnot, and I felt that way again. And I can totally tell that my legs look really different -- leaner, slightly different shape. My arms are getting stronger and slightly more defined. I need to be more religious about lifting. Now I"m doing it about twice a week, but I want to do it every other day. And I'm going to try and run tonight as well. Luckily the weather has cooled off, so it will be more tolerable.

The downside to me getting leaner is that I feel my chest is more prominent. I probably have lost some weight on top, but if I keep losing my belly, I won't have a barrel-chested look. I'll end up looking top-heavy, which a lot of guys who work out exciessively have (mammoth pecs) and I don't much care for it! I hope I won't have to come up with a new binding option.....Maybe I can shoot for surgery this winter instead of next spring/summer.....damn my lack of money.