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two or three things.
Sep. 18th, 2001 10:05 amSo I finally heard from my parents. My dad e-mailed me last night -- I could tell it was him after the first couple sentences, because they have very different styles.
Hi Dear,
We got your phone message today and I called your new number. Line was busy.
This past weekend was the time for our trip to Texas for Angela's(Debbie's daughter) wedding. We flew out of here Friday morning(what chaos at the airport; this was the first opening since Tuesday). I checked Thursday night and our flight had been cancelled. We re-scheduled for the next flight and Delta suggest that we come at least 2 hours early. We got there 2 1/2 early...should have gotten there 5 hours early. Delta was not even close to being prepared for the thousands of people who appeared at the airport Thursday. All day thursday I was hoping the airport would open and starting moving some of the people who stuck here since Tuesday. Regardless we made it fine. We met the groom's family from Australia; had a great time. We spent Sunday and Sunday night with Gene, Gwen, Hannah, Sophie. Emma and Claire(there new dog). It was nice to see them all.
I hope that you had a wonderful trip...now I know three people who have been to Nebraska!
I know that you have following the unspeakable events of this week. It still seems almost unreal. I'm sure that our feelings are similiar to those of Americans hearing about Pearl Harbor in 1941. Our feelings were amplified because with today's technology we not only knew within minutes after it happened; we saw the second plane as it attacked. Mom and I both have heard stories of our friends or their family members who either just missed being in one of the buildings or knew someone not so lucky. The husband of a friend of mine I worked with at Lanier was a passenger on the plane that hit the second building...they had been married for two months. I hope that no one you know was a victim of the tragedy. America and the world will never be the same.
Mom and I love you dearly but we still are having trouble adjusting to your changes of the past years. I for one am not sure what is stronger...a sense of disappointment, anger, failure, lack of communication, my imagination of the pain you have gone thru and will go thru the rest of your life...I'm sure you can imagine some of our feelings also. We have tried to talk about you but can only talk briefly...Mom admits that she just can't accept(maybe not the best choice of words) what has happened to our wonderful daughter. I've thought many times to call and talk with you...I've called a couple of times and you weren't home; I'm not sure what I would have said anyway. Maybe you have friends whose parents have accepted such life changes; but your parents are not like those. I'm sorry to get into this now but maybe I can write about this...I certainly can't talk about it with you or anyone else for that matter.
You truly do not know how much I love you and how I think of you every minute. I wish that we could "do over" the past few years and maybe some different paths could have been taken by you or me.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Love,
Dad and Mom(she really only thought I was letting know we were home...I got carried away)
and here's my current response. not as a reply e-mail -- just the only thing I'm able to muster right now.
Very Best Years
(The Grays)
Okay it started a long time ago when I was a little boy
Sometimes a little one don't do what he's told and mother puts back his toy
Yes there is something you can do my love
Won't you help me through these troubled times
And serve to remind
That everything is gonna be alright despite my fighting bitter tears
These are the very best years
These days father's not the man that we knew and you know we get so low
That's when you find me alone with my will, and my wine, and these scars that show
Yes there is something you can do my love
Won't you help me through these troubled times
And serve to remind
That everything is gonna be alright despite my fighting bitter tears
These are the very best years
I was just five years old
had this dream that took me far away
and brought me here today
where my hopes and fears
are gathered around
can't you feel them hangin' round
Yes there is something you can do my love
Won't you help me through these troubled times
And serve to remind
That everything is gonna be alright despite my fighting bitter tears
And serve to remind
Yes everything is gonna be alright despite my fighting bitter tears
'Cause these are the very best years, yeah
These are the very best years
the irony is that my brother introduced me to this song about 7 years ago.
in other news, which is unrelated to family matters but related to my emotional exhaustion, MelRo and I talked last night, and I got to say all the things I had been thinking and cleared the air a lot in regards to my jealousy and hurt and mistrust. We'll still be talking more about Eli__'s possible visit, and future adventures in outside relationships, obviously. But for the most part, I feel good about the talk. Much like our other talks since her return, I don't feel like the situation is perfectly and neatly resolved, but I feel we're moving forward in a productive and good manner. I really do love her a lot, and I'm still trying to negotiate what that means and how I fit everything into my life. She's very important to me, and makes me very very happy. I can't ask for much more really.
Oh, and I heard from K__ and my friend Cl___ who are both at Columbia and they're doing ok, which is good. Tried very very hard not to read into anything in K's e-mail. Esp. after my revelation on Sunday afternoon about my tendency to construct a negative and critical anecdote around a neutral personality trait. This is the way one begins to heal oneself, I suppose.
Hi Dear,
We got your phone message today and I called your new number. Line was busy.
This past weekend was the time for our trip to Texas for Angela's(Debbie's daughter) wedding. We flew out of here Friday morning(what chaos at the airport; this was the first opening since Tuesday). I checked Thursday night and our flight had been cancelled. We re-scheduled for the next flight and Delta suggest that we come at least 2 hours early. We got there 2 1/2 early...should have gotten there 5 hours early. Delta was not even close to being prepared for the thousands of people who appeared at the airport Thursday. All day thursday I was hoping the airport would open and starting moving some of the people who stuck here since Tuesday. Regardless we made it fine. We met the groom's family from Australia; had a great time. We spent Sunday and Sunday night with Gene, Gwen, Hannah, Sophie. Emma and Claire(there new dog). It was nice to see them all.
I hope that you had a wonderful trip...now I know three people who have been to Nebraska!
I know that you have following the unspeakable events of this week. It still seems almost unreal. I'm sure that our feelings are similiar to those of Americans hearing about Pearl Harbor in 1941. Our feelings were amplified because with today's technology we not only knew within minutes after it happened; we saw the second plane as it attacked. Mom and I both have heard stories of our friends or their family members who either just missed being in one of the buildings or knew someone not so lucky. The husband of a friend of mine I worked with at Lanier was a passenger on the plane that hit the second building...they had been married for two months. I hope that no one you know was a victim of the tragedy. America and the world will never be the same.
Mom and I love you dearly but we still are having trouble adjusting to your changes of the past years. I for one am not sure what is stronger...a sense of disappointment, anger, failure, lack of communication, my imagination of the pain you have gone thru and will go thru the rest of your life...I'm sure you can imagine some of our feelings also. We have tried to talk about you but can only talk briefly...Mom admits that she just can't accept(maybe not the best choice of words) what has happened to our wonderful daughter. I've thought many times to call and talk with you...I've called a couple of times and you weren't home; I'm not sure what I would have said anyway. Maybe you have friends whose parents have accepted such life changes; but your parents are not like those. I'm sorry to get into this now but maybe I can write about this...I certainly can't talk about it with you or anyone else for that matter.
You truly do not know how much I love you and how I think of you every minute. I wish that we could "do over" the past few years and maybe some different paths could have been taken by you or me.
Hope to hear from you soon.
Love,
Dad and Mom(she really only thought I was letting know we were home...I got carried away)
and here's my current response. not as a reply e-mail -- just the only thing I'm able to muster right now.
Very Best Years
(The Grays)
Okay it started a long time ago when I was a little boy
Sometimes a little one don't do what he's told and mother puts back his toy
Yes there is something you can do my love
Won't you help me through these troubled times
And serve to remind
That everything is gonna be alright despite my fighting bitter tears
These are the very best years
These days father's not the man that we knew and you know we get so low
That's when you find me alone with my will, and my wine, and these scars that show
Yes there is something you can do my love
Won't you help me through these troubled times
And serve to remind
That everything is gonna be alright despite my fighting bitter tears
These are the very best years
I was just five years old
had this dream that took me far away
and brought me here today
where my hopes and fears
are gathered around
can't you feel them hangin' round
Yes there is something you can do my love
Won't you help me through these troubled times
And serve to remind
That everything is gonna be alright despite my fighting bitter tears
And serve to remind
Yes everything is gonna be alright despite my fighting bitter tears
'Cause these are the very best years, yeah
These are the very best years
the irony is that my brother introduced me to this song about 7 years ago.
in other news, which is unrelated to family matters but related to my emotional exhaustion, MelRo and I talked last night, and I got to say all the things I had been thinking and cleared the air a lot in regards to my jealousy and hurt and mistrust. We'll still be talking more about Eli__'s possible visit, and future adventures in outside relationships, obviously. But for the most part, I feel good about the talk. Much like our other talks since her return, I don't feel like the situation is perfectly and neatly resolved, but I feel we're moving forward in a productive and good manner. I really do love her a lot, and I'm still trying to negotiate what that means and how I fit everything into my life. She's very important to me, and makes me very very happy. I can't ask for much more really.
Oh, and I heard from K__ and my friend Cl___ who are both at Columbia and they're doing ok, which is good. Tried very very hard not to read into anything in K's e-mail. Esp. after my revelation on Sunday afternoon about my tendency to construct a negative and critical anecdote around a neutral personality trait. This is the way one begins to heal oneself, I suppose.
