TMBG

New York City
**Original lyrics by Cub

You called me last night on the telephone
And I was glad to hear from you 'cause I was all alone
You said, "It's snowing, it's snowing! God, I hate this weather."
Now I walk through blizzards just to get us back together
 
We met in the springtime at a rock-and-roll show
It was on the Bowery when it was time to go
We kissed on the subway in the middle of the night
I held your hand, you held mine, it was the best night of my life.
 
'Cause everyone's your friend in New York City
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see
But the best thing about New York City is you and me
 
Statue of Liberty, Staten Island Ferry, Co-op City, Katz's and Tiffany's
Central Park, Brooklyn Bridge, The Empire State where Dylan lived
Coney Island and Times Square, Rockefeller Center
Wish I was there
 
You wrote me a letter just the other day
Said, "Springtime is coming soon so why don't you come to stay."
I packed my stuff, got on the bus, I can't believe it's true
I'm three days from New York City and I'm three days from you
 
'Cause everyone's my friend in New York City
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see
But the best thing about New York City is you and me
 
'Cause everyone's my friend in New York City
And everything looks beautiful when you're young and pretty
The streets are paved with diamonds and there's just so much to see
But the best thing about New York City is you and me.

from this website

Issued by the Southern Tourism Bureau to ALL visiting Northerners And Northeastern Urbanites:

1) Don't order filet mignon or pasta primavera at Waffle House. It's just a diner. They serve breakfast 24 hours a day.  Let them cook something they know. If you confuse them, they'll kick your ass.

2) Don't laugh at our Southern names. (Merleen, Bodie, Ovine, Luther Ray, Tammy Lynn, Darla Beth, Inez, Billy Joe, Sissy, etc.)These people have all been known to kick ass.

3) Don't order a bottle of pop or a can of soda down here. Down here it's called Coke. Nobody gives a flying damn whether it's Pepsi, RC, Dr. Pepper, 7-Up or whatever-it's still a Coke. Accept it. Doing otherwise can lead to an ass kicking.

4) We know our heritage. Most of us are more literate than you (e.g.,Welty, Williams, Faulkner). We are also better educated and generally a lot nicer.  Don't refer to us as a bunch of hillbillies, or we'll kick your ass.

5) We have plenty of business sense (e.g., Fred Smith of Fed Ex, Turner Broadcasting, MCI WorldCom, MTV, Netscape). Naturally, we do, sometimes, have small lapses in judgment (e.g., Carter, Edwards, Duke, Barnes). We don't care if you think we are dumb.  We can still kick your ass.

6) Don't laugh at our Civil War monuments. If Lee had listened to Longstreet and flanked Meade at Gettysburg instead of sending Pickett up the middle, you'd be paying taxes to Richmond instead of Washington. If you visit Stone Mountain and complain about the carving, we'll kick your ass.

7) We are fully aware of how high the humidity is, so shut the hell up, spend your money, and get the hell out of here-or we'll kick your ass.

8) Don't order wheat toast at Cracker Barrel. Everyone will instantly know that you're from Ohio. Eat your biscuits like God intended. Don't put sugar on your grits, or we'll kick your ass.

9) Don't fake a Southern accent. This will incite a riot, and you will get your ass kicked.

10) Don't talk about how much better things are at home because we don't give a damn. Many of us have visited Northern hell holes like Detroit, Chicago, and DC, and we have the scars to prove it. If you don't like it here, Delta is ready when you are. Take your ass home before it gets kicked.

11) Yes, we know how to speak proper English. We talk this way because we don't want to sound like you. We don't care if you don't understand what we are saying. All other Southerners understand what we are saying, and that's all that matters. Now, go away, or we'll kick your ass.

12) Don't complain that the South is dirty and polluted. None of OUR lakes have caught fire like scenic Lake Erie once did. Whine about OUR scenic beauty, and we'll kick your ass all the way back into Boston Harbor.

13) Don't ridicule our Southern manners. We say "sir" and "ma'am," hold doors open for others, and offer our seats to old folks because such things are expected of civilized people. Behave yourselves around our sweet little gray-haired grandmothers or they'll kick some manners into your ass just like they did ours.

14) So you think we're quaint or losers because most of us live in the countryside? That's because we have enough sense to not live in smelly, crime-infested cesspools like New York or Baltimore. Make fun of our fresh air, and we'll kick your ass.

15) Last, but not least, DO NOT DARE to come down here trying to tell us how to cook Barbecue. This will get your ass shot off (right after it is kicked). You're lucky we let you come down here at all. Question our sacred BBQ, and you go home in a pine box - minus your ass.

(no subject)

Maybe I should write a real post instead just reposting other isht. For some reason I feel sort of tapped out. Maybe because I've written too many e-mails to folks, so I feel like everything I say is repetitive.

Worked help desk this a.m. I remembered yesterday that I was on duty, but promptly forgot this morning. It was pretty slow, but got 2 long and intense calls. The last one was from this guy who was harassed on the job and was fired/left, and I belive the statute of limitations ran out on filing a complaint (it's not call SOL for nothing!), and I understand that he had a crappy traumatic experience, but it's hard to hear him say "this isn't my fault so why should I have to suffer? why should I do all the work? why should I be trying to find people to help me? no one i talk to gives a damn". and what i want to say is "the unemployment department doesn't care because it's not their job! and your bosses/co-workers don't care because they're the perpetrators! if they cared, they wouldn't have done it in the first place! and yes, the other woman at the department of labor was correct in saying you didn't take enough action! i'm sorry that it's the victim's responsibility to take action, and i know it's shitty and it's hard enough, but for christ's sake, go read "Death and the Maiden" and deal with it constructively rather than just complain and whine." but instead I said "yes, i know it's really hard. it's good you want to try and file a complaint. let me warn you that the commission may tell you it's too late, so be prepared. good luck. take care."

and that's why i'm the professional. :P

I'm really not callous at all. I KNOW it's hard to fight back. I completely understand when people just want to let it go. It's hard to file and follow through on a complaint and be successful. But for fuck's sake, don't yell at me for telling you the possible outcomes. I'm on your side.

{rant mode off}

and now i'm procrastinating making labels because my boss is out tomorrow, so i can just do it then.

i think my problem was that i left work right after help-desk, then went to the library to get a card and the woman was mean to me. well, maybe not mean. but callous and a bad listener. and she didn't ever look me in the eye. i hate that isht. at least treat me like a fcking human being. you don't even have to smile or feed me isht. so i still don't have a card because the address on my license doesn't match my electric bill. i'm sorry if i haven't had time (4 hours) to stand in line at the DMV and get a new one yet. but apparantly if i just bring in TWO bills with my new address, that's enough.

hmm. I didn't realize I was in such a bitchy mood. I'm not really -- just venting so that I WONT be in a bitchy mood.

tonight I go home and hopefully talk to mr. ridley. and I finish the elusive mixtape. and enjoy home time. i'm totally in the mood to watch like 3 hours of tv, and possibly consume a beer or two.

It's nearly 4 which means it's nearly 5. Sort of.