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So after deciding I would NOT call my mom since I sent her an e-mail Mother's Day card informing them that I never received their new address and phone number, I called anyway. The first time I dialed, the line was busy. Hugely anti-climactic. I made myself try once more 20 minutes later, and as soon as I heard the phone ring, nausea began. But once my mom picked up, I won't say it was a relief exactly, but it wasn't quite the anxiety-inducing activity I expected. For those who've read e-mails I've posted here between my parents and I, you know how boring and bland and non-confrontational they are. That was pretty much the phone conversation. They talked about the move and the new house and the search for new furniture. I talked about work and my recent review and cooking. We talked about food. Well, mostly me. Then after about 10 or 15 minutes, I said I had to go, which was true -- we had chinese food to pick up for dinner with a friend -- and the call ended pretty flatly. Just a vague 'glad you called' and 'take care' and talk to you soon' and 'love you'. The end.
Shortly after I realized I hadn't actually talked to them on the phone since my birthday, so approximately 11 months ago. Nice.
But they e-mailed me last night with the contact info and some more general chatty stuff. They also informed me that my "stuff" is packed up in boxes in their basement. I guess there's no real rush to move it out. One minor change I notice is the nickname in their e-mail address book finally got changed to AJ. It's funny how it's been so long since I went by AJ that I feel pretty dissociated from it, and I have to remind myself to use it with them. A sign that it was never really my name, just an in-between nickname. My birth name doesn't get my attention much either. Except for when they say it -- the sound is imprinted in my neurons and there's not much I can do about it.
I lost more emotional energy than I anticipated this weekend to this issue. But for the most part I'm feeling rather even....almost neutral. Unfortunately, Father's Day is right around the corner.
Shortly after I realized I hadn't actually talked to them on the phone since my birthday, so approximately 11 months ago. Nice.
But they e-mailed me last night with the contact info and some more general chatty stuff. They also informed me that my "stuff" is packed up in boxes in their basement. I guess there's no real rush to move it out. One minor change I notice is the nickname in their e-mail address book finally got changed to AJ. It's funny how it's been so long since I went by AJ that I feel pretty dissociated from it, and I have to remind myself to use it with them. A sign that it was never really my name, just an in-between nickname. My birth name doesn't get my attention much either. Except for when they say it -- the sound is imprinted in my neurons and there's not much I can do about it.
I lost more emotional energy than I anticipated this weekend to this issue. But for the most part I'm feeling rather even....almost neutral. Unfortunately, Father's Day is right around the corner.
