Metal heart, you're not worth a thing.

Last night we were quite indulgent and went to our favorite sushi restaurant (also the home of our infamous first date) and gorged ourselves on the wonders of raw fish and seaweed (with veggie tempura and gyoza appetizers). I could probably eat sushi everyday -- maybe then I would branch out more on what types I'd eat. I like trying new things, but since I don't get to eat it very often, I usually end ordering my favorites over and over again.

I also fulfilled my butch quotient and installed the two window air conditioners last night. I think I needed to do something physical to release some energy, but didn't really feel like working out. Negotiating those 75 pound monsters did the trick. Plus I got to sleep in a cool breezy room, rather than a hot sticky stay-on-your-side-of-the-bed-and-don't-touch-me evening of not sleeping.

I'm recovering pretty well from the whole burglary thing. I'm not sure how well I'd feel if this had happened when living alone, but there's no reason to dwell on that. Also, I'm sort of amazed at how remarkably un-vengeful I'm feeling -- it's not really helpful for me to seeth about the crooks and wish ill on them and fantasize about the horrible things I wish I could do to them. I don't really have any of those urges. I sorta just want the stuff back, namely MelRo's less replaceable stuff. And I want a break-in to never happen again. The former probably isn't likely to happen very easily, the latter is compeletely unpredictable.

But now we are seriously discussing getting a dog. We've talked about it before, but now we have a reason (excuse?) to make concrete plans. The dog would probably be mine, as far as official ownership, but there would maybe be some shared expenses and responsibilities while we're living together.

Funny how we shy away from shared ownership of things, even though we're together and we live together. Pretty much the only thing we split is food -- most all tangible objects officially belong to one of us. But we're both realists and don't like to have overly-romanticized notions of how things will be in the future. It may seem overly practical to some, but maybe it's also related to both of our experiences with the law. We know how messy property disputes can be and how difficult negotiations can be. Frankly, I'm scared of marriage for those exact reasons -- there are a LOT of responsibilities and contractual obligations that people no nothing about when it comes to federal- & state-defined marriage. It's a serious level of commitment that I'm unable and unwilling to entertain right now.

It's hella easier for me to tell someone I'm going to love someone forever, because I think it's fairly true -- even when I'm hating someone I've been intimate with, part of me still loves them. But it's a lot harder to commit to financial interdependency.

But I think I can commit to financially supporting a dog.

You're not my real daddy.

As another work week comes to a close, I can't help but think about the time spent at work to actual work done ratio and how insanely high it is. But then I get interrupted by things like cake for a co-worker's birthday. What can you do?

A belated thanks to all the supportive comments I got yesterday morning regarding the burglary -- sorry I didn't do that sooner! And I really am starting to get excited about the prospect of having a dog. I've really wanted a dog since....I was 5. I gave up on that dream when I actually acquired a cat as a pet at age 10. He died right before I moved to Chicago for college. After graduating, I wanted to get a pet, but I tended to be in anti-dog apartments or living with cat-allergic folks or I had no money. The most recent case of almost acquiring a pet came last fall/winter. I dog-sat for MFHA's canine on Labor Day weekend and decided I was too lazy to take care of a dog if I didn't have a small backyard to let him out into between walks. Also, my apartment didn't allow dogs -- minor problem. Around christmas I decided I was going to get myself a cat as a companion instead, esp. since I lived in a studio, but then I got a girlfriend instead (and one who's allergic to cats). When I made the decision to move in to her place and takeover the lease from her roommate, we discussed getting a dog since the apartment allows it. But we didn't have much money, plus I feared a dog would eat the hamster.

Nowadays I'm not exactly rolling in dough. But I think I have enough to take care of animal -- estimating about 500 dollars a year in costs. The more I think about it, the more excited I get. I really love pets and miss having one, but I'm fairly picky about making sure my pet is "cool". And by cool I mean friendly and cute and fun and playful and well-behaved -- which for me, means I must be committed to training the fella.

Besides, MelRo and I have been together long enough, it's time for me to make her a baby mama. Woo-hoo. Strangely enough I was seriously thinking about parenthood this morning on the train -- but only in a vague way as far as what sort of dad I saw myself as. I'd definitely be more of a mom-dad with my kid. Maybe I was thinking about it because I take the responsibility of having a dog very seriously -- and I'm certainly not saying that it requires more or even equal responsibility as having a kid, but it might be a good test. If I can't keep up an animal, I sure as hell don't want to attempt raising a child. And hopefully Riley and Damon would be good uncle's (i.e. take him out to play when we're out of town).

So maybe Sunday we can go check out the anti-cruelty society and start doing some research.