I saw heaven in your eyes and we made a deal, and that's what I know of love.

I probably should have stayed home again and slept some more, but guilt and boredom and not wanting to use up all my sick days convinced me to shower and dress and show up. Now that I've completed said tasks, can I go home now?

I forgot to mention yesterday the scary explosion that occurred on the utility pole outside the back of our apartment. There were two loud thudded pops -- the first I assumed was a car backfiring, the second was louder and too foreign to be ignored. Damon and I looked up and saw black smoke billowing away from what appeared to the be the back of my building. Like morons, we ran to the back porch (which is enclosed) rather than away from the situation. But it ended up not being as dangerous at that point -- the fire truck was already outside dealing with the problem. Some sort of generator burst into flames, and the fire spilled down onto the ground some as well. I swear, freaky shit always happens on weekdays that I don't go to work -- my last sick day happened on the day a Loop building caught on fire.

Anyway, this mini-expolosion cause the power to go out for about an hour, then returned before dinner time. But last night around 1 am it went out again, this time for about 2 hours. I was awakened by the heat in the room since the a/c unit was no longer operational. I laid in my sweat praying for sleep to take me away or at the very least for sauna-like atmosphere to purge the illness from my body. Neither happened.

And let the record show, I'm actually ready for therapy next week. I mean, I might not enjoy going per se, but I'm anxious to talk about the most recent family stuff. Again.

so, what are your problems?

I'm considering starting a series in my journal that's chronicling the life and times of Raymond J____ (as if you couldn't figure out what my name was if you tried hard enough) and how I became the man I am today (in multiple senses of that twisted phrase) in an effort to possibly send them off to my father who apparantly still has no idea who the hell I am or how I became this strange spawn of complexities and confusion. I feel the need to detail the rise and fall of my sexuality as well as my gender identity, and probably add in some other details along the way, like career and friends and whatnot. So be prepared for these upcoming stories, and I will attempt to use lj-cut often so as to not clutter up the friends page.

Speaking of a a friends page, I'm guess the majority of these chronicles will be friends-only, to protect the innocent bystanders in my life. But if you, some random cyber stranger or long-lost friend or acquaintance, are reading these words and for some strange reason feel extremely compelled to take part in these past chapters of my life, please take action to indicate as such -- for example adding me to your friends list or e-mailing me or getting a livejournal so that you too can participate in the cult. You know you want to.

In other news, you should also click on my user profile and send me a text message, because I'm cool like that. Or something.

For now, I should eat lunch.