"love, dad"

My workday ended punchily but Clever Sweet Legal Intern rode the train with me and we had a nice wrap-up. Then I had a fabulous dinner with H.S. that included non-alcoholic sangria -- which apparently I love. Or maybe it was just having great conversations about coming out and family and work stories and whatnot. She's been instructed to pass along a hug to wearemany next week, so make sure you collect.

Then I came home and there was a voicemail from my father. He left a message like it was an e-mail, and even said the phrase "love, dad" as he hung up the phone. My mom is in the hospital, and had surgery yesterday and is having further procedures done right now, as I type this. She was having intestinal type problems the night before, repeated puking with nothing coming up, so they took her to the hospital and of course checked to see if she was having a heart attack because she's over 40. Instead it turns out she has gall stones and she had her gall bladder removed. They couldn't get all the stones through her abdomen so now they're doing a procedure where they go through her mouth. Hopefully this will work -- if not they're going to have to do the major surgery where they cut open her belly, which takes 4-5 days of hospital receovery.

Talking to my dad was weird. He's so emotional removed, yet I could feel everything through his voice -- like I could articulate what he was feeling better than he could. But of course he didn't want to talk about such things. I got the number for my mom's hospital room so I'll call her later to get the update.
Bishop just called me regarding a business matter but then we started talking about other things, including my mom and my dad and the state of the collective unconscious. (It doesn't work out as neatly when reduced to one sentence.)

I've been pretty removed anyway for the past week, and this isn't any different.

r-o-l-a-i-d-s

After lunch with Sparky, I called the hospital on my cell phone while walking back to the office. My dad answered, and I even got to talk to my mom so, but she was so drugged and quiet and her throat was sore after having the equipment shoved down, so it didn't last too long -- and I couldn't really understand her that well anyway. But it was good to hear her voice, and my father sounded relieved and even extra-appreciative of me calling. Almost surprised. I said I'd call tomorrow when they get home (she's expected to leave the hospital in the morning), and I'm going to do it. I haven't talked to them on the phone since May, and that was the first time in almost a year, yet now I'll have chatted with them three times in three days. Maybe this will finally break the ice and change some of the patterns.

I was pretty numb all last night and this morning, curious as to why I wasn't feeling anything. But after I hung up the phone I felt extremely relieved, so I guess that indicates that something else WAS going on inside my head.

Now I have an excuse if I want to call every week and just ramble on. They have to listen, I guess. Maybe they'll even be glad to hear it. It feels to cliche that it took a health problem and possibility of serious surgery or illness to have someone wakeup, but I'll take what I can get. But who knows really -- my aunt was involved in a serious car accident my junior year of college and spoke to me on the phone all about how she'd no longer take life for granted and would keep in better touch with all the family members and call all the time and make the effort because it's important to her, but I haven't received anything but an e-mail forward from her in the past 5 years.

But, it's my mom. And she's okay. So that's really all that matters at this point, I guess.