Still, at the end of every hard earned day, people find some reason to believe.

I'm so cold right now. I know there's a veritable heatwave on the other side of the 2 inch glass, but my teeth are nearly chattering. I broke down and borrowed a shirt of my boss's, despite the sleeves being too short. Also I'm actually getting sleepy. Do you know how cold you have to be to get sleepy? We're talking hypothermia here, folks. The central air in this building is out of control.

But that's not what I came here to talk about.

On the train into work I contemplated the ability for me to take a temporary "vow of silence" which doesn't quite sound right -- how about absention from speaking? Maybe forty-eight hours of no talking. The problem is I'd still have to listen and communicat in non-writing forms, which means I'd still have to have interactions with people.

I haven't felt fully like myself in weeks and weeks and weeks....I can't even remember when. Maybe sometime in the spring? Perhaps I'll go reread some entries and see if I can decipher. I mean, there are moments when I'm fine, but they're fleeting. Or at least temporary and finite. My overall demeanor is just....not right. I can feel everything rising to the surface of my skin as I type this.

I'm having dinner tonight with Madness Librarian friend, which will hopefully be productive and fun. He's a good person who's relatively lowkey in interactions. But part of me wants to board some random train and get off far far away and just walk home. Possibly not even in the same day. My brain hurts.

Days like this are perfect for running away from home. The scary part is nowadays no one will stop me. By the time mom and dad even found out I'd be long gone.

no need to get all salty.

Dear justaboi,

Where are you these days? Don't make me come up to Minneapolis just so I can check up on your ass. Maybe that's where I'll run away to. I can have several days alone the train, beat down your door and make sure your alive, take you out for coffee, then head home in time for Stove Top stuffing at 8 with Timmy's mom.

Seriously though, I miss Wyatt. But he's not even the only one -- lots of ljers have been noticeably absent recently, or only popping in once a week when they used to post twice a day. I understand that life changes and some people have perfectly legitimate reasons for not spending their free time in the livejournal update browser.

But that doesn't stop me from missing them.