You should have seen your face. It looked like this:

"I am a loser."

I'm down to my last few chocolate bars in my Ghirardelli trolley car tin full of chocolate that limenal brought me from her trip to San Francisco. I hope when she works there next summer that she'll send me more. Though I guess I can get some on my own when I visit at xmas, but it's not the same. It tastes better when it's a gift. I didn't mean for that to sound as cheesy as it does, but I didn't want to be crass and say it tastes better when someone else buys if for me. Too late.

Speaking of buying things for me, I spoke with Richard yesterday very briefly and we're going out to dinner on Saturday night and then to see a play version of Dickens' "Hard Times". In the five minute conversation we managed to connect my novel with Dickens. Only because I'm releasing it in serial-type form on the web, not because of subject matter. (Which reminds me, as soon as it's December 1st, I'm deleting writerraymond so I can start editing and revising. Assuming I complete such a mammoth task, I may be sending it out to be considered for publication. So get your read on now while it's free.) But anyway, yes, Richard seemed pleased as punch to hear from me and glad that I wanted to see him again. He even seem thrilled that I wanted to do dinner beforehand, which is such a small thing, but I appreciate his enthusiasm, since New!Mark has been very quiet. I'm sure he's busy and all, and I don't fault him for not being available to hang out at any given time, but I just don't want it to be a one-way street. In other words, I'm waiting for him to call/e-mail me. Until then, I'm coming to terms with the possibility that it might not happen and that's okay. He wasn't that fabulous to warrant too many genuine upset feelings.

Last night I dreamt about work and events and forgetting a suit and moving other people across country with uhaul trailers tied to cars. That's about all I can say. It was more visual than narrative-based.

I'm trying to make my novel characters be emotionally forthcoming. It's hard to right about things I don't know about. Maybe I should do some research.

What does Raybear remind you of?

I have a favor to ask of my livejournal family. I would like new icons. But I have no such programs on my work computer to make them. Also, I sort of suck at making them and often end up warping the images when using MelRo's computer.

If anyone out there would like to make one or two for me, I'd be very grateful (and probably amused as well). I don't really have anything specific to request as far as images -- I'm open to interpretation. If you want me to send you jpg's of me to cut up or whatever, let me know and I'll e-mail them to you.

Thanks in advance. I'd also be willing to exchange livejournal favors -- I have many codes if you need one.

The postman always rings twice

A good mail day is a good day. And today I got good mail from glitterdyke. How much do I love pirate Bowie with major camel toe action? How does he do that? Here's a hint: I love it a lot. And I also currently love this Super Mario remix of Closer. I think it's the blending of the theme song as well and not just the sound effect. Good stuff. I've started you a mix CD but it's been delayed. It might continue to be delayed until after November 30 (the novel deadline), but I will deliver on my promise.

Speaking of CD's from livejournal people, I have bad news for myself -- I think I lost Grab Bag CD 1 from vfc. I think it occured when they came to rip out all of our windows last month. I'm not saying the window guys necessarily stole it, but....it might have also gotten thrown away or pushed into some dark corner of the apartment I'm unable to locate. And I've looked everywhere. So Liza, if you happen to still have the setlist on your computer (it was the one with Smells Like Booty and Princess Superstar and Stroke of Genie), I would be very grateful to get another copy when you get a chance.

Okay, I should get some writing done before MelRo comes home from drinks with the artist formerly known as the Deadly Ex. She may still be known that way but I don't want to speak on anyone else's behalf.

Just a little lovin'.

I know I'm not really saying anything new or original here, but goddamned, Dusty in Memphis is a fucking amazing album. It's one of the top five albums I listed once that could be given as a gift to anyone, and if they had a lick of musical interest (not even knowledge or taste) they would enjoy it. I can't remember what else was in that top 5 list though. Oh, Miles Davis' Kind of Blue. (Did I do that apostrophe correctly, AP darlings?) What else?

Now to echo my protagonist: I want a cigarette like a motherfucker. I have none in the house. I would go across the street and possibly indulge myself, but I have no cash. I could walk a block to get money, then get cigarettes. But that's three steps, so it qualifies as work (the first step is leaving the house). I get cravings so rarely for tobacco that I feel compelled to indulge it. Strange, I know. I'm thankful that I don't seem prone to nicotine addiction, don't get me wrong.

I passed the 30,000 word mark. I'm almost done with this. I don't mean that in the triumphant "I passed the halfway mark and I'm almost done!" way. I mean, I'm almost tired. I'm tired of their shit not being resolved quickly enough for me. Maybe it's because I'm not exactly sure the best way to resolve it -- or more accurately, when the things I want to happen should happen. My protagonist is turning out to be less delusional than I originally planned. It's fucking things up. But I think even if I wrapped the plot up quickly it will still push me over the 40,000 mark. Then I can just go back and add some details and maybe a 3,000 word dream sequence.

I know I'm about four months late on this, but who cares.

(Courtesy of www.google.com, of course.)

Raymond is doing more harm than good.

Raymond is a fully equipped American Plan lodge with beautifully appointed and clean housekeeping units.

Raymond is "covered in burns" and old burn scars.

Raymond is healed by Bue Ma, the mistress of the secret lake (called "God's End").

Raymond is a farce.

Raymond is armed and dangerous.

Raymond is no longer a smaller niche player in this market.

And in conclusion, Raymond is basically a blowhard.