Are you really a hot boy?

On Monday I left work a little early, feeling chipper and ready for a fun social evening. While waiting for Madness Librarian to show up for dinner, I felt a stranger tinkering in my body -- my bones started to ache and tiredness spread to the skin, and I knew I was going to get sick. Like, soon. Sure enough, by the end of dinner, I was ready to lie down. Luckily someone was generous enough to stop by with vitamin!water supplies and took care of Sophie so I could stay in bed. I was tucked in and shortly fell asleep. At 4:30 am I woke up, feeling no better. So I went ahead and called in sick to work, turned off the alarm and fell back asleep until approximately 10 am when my visiting nurse came by again.

By the afternoon I started to feel more human but still winded.
By the evening I was ready to go crazy. I was so bored. Thing is, when I'm feeling lazy, it's extremely easy to fill several days with naps and movies and television and magazines and books and videogames. Trouble is, when I'm sick I'm not always feeling simultaneously lazy. So I wanted to meet people for drinks or go to sex workshops or something but I also knew if I did anything too active I might get re-sick. So I took a bath.

This morning I went to the doctor for a blood draw and an injection. One might think I would mention my recent/still slightly current illness to a doctor, but not I. Why bother? I'm sure it's just a virus and/or being ambushed with allergies due to recent weather changes. I had to wait and wait and wait for the doctor to come in my room and stand in my face and ask "how ya doin' buddy?!" and then pat me on the head and send me on my way. All this because I was having blood drawn. If it was just an injection, I could have escaped the office without seeing him. My student doctor was the friendly-enough blonde straight woman, who was coming off as rather prissy today. I really wish I got Dreamboat Student Doc, aka Mark, who dommeyourass had last week. He walked in while I was sitting in the waiting room. From outside the door I caught his eye and he did the half-smile, eyebrow raise while my stomach got unexpectedly tingly. He came in and said hellohow'sitgoing? and I returned the sentiment. I hoped and hoped and hoped I'd have him, but no such luck. Instead the brief encounter provided nice fodder for the train ride into work, involving my velvety pillow and him blindfolded and in my leather cuffs. Funny, I didn't have a crush on him before, but today I was thinking nothing but dirty thoughts, even while sitting in the exam room on those strange massage-table looking patient benches. The lack of walls didn't deter any of my office-visit fantasies either.

At this point maybe I should mention that all this came after the testosterone was injected into my arm. Probably not a coincidence.

I should probably go to this conference call now.

Can I go home now?

Hi, I'm Cancer. Have you met me? Let's go through a list of all the emotions I've felt and expressed this morning in some form or another, shall we? Sort of in order.

Exhausted, petulant, cranky, bored, guilty, anxious, nervous, bored, angry, anxious, horny, mellow, bouncy, satisfied, upset, bored, angry, embarassed, flustered, sad, exhausted, tired, full, sated, horny, bashful, loved, capable, relaxed.

I haven't even gone to lunch yet -- what the hell else does this day have in store for me?

I must go grab food and go to the hardware store to make keys. I want to leave work promptly at 5 pm. I think I need a nap so I can reset my internal emotional clockradio because right now it's all over the map, playing multiple stations of opposing music and varying volumes. Maybe a nicotine fix will help too. And I will attempt to resist the temptation to spend the rest of my day writing and writing and writing, though I reserve the right for one more entry at the end of the afternoon. Put your topic requests in now.