Keepin up with them Jones put my ass in debt

I will resist the urge to quote Meat Loaf and make the subject line "Two Outta Three Ain't Bad" to described my relief in finally mailing two completed grad school applications today. One more to go. Luckily I have some shame to motivate me, because I know I would be tempted to drop this school solely because I don't want to write a book report for them, but I didn't realize the book report was required until after I'd already had transcripts and recommendations sent, so the thought of this school receiving those two things but not an actual application, especially now that 90% of it is complete, reads high enough on my Shame Scale to force me to write the damn thing.

Speaking of, I learned that Meat Loaf gets really mad when people spell his name as one word. I learned this from reading Blender magazine. I was reading Blender magazine upon Mintwaster's suggestion. And a good suggestion it was, because I mailed a subscription card out today, since it costs all of eight dollar for a one-year subscription. Blender is the new Esquire in my house, except I will actually read it versus Esquire which sits and collects dust until the new one comes and I throw the old one away. I think people who visit the house have read more of my Esquires than I have.

I just received a great little package from San Fran courtesy of Limenal that had many fabulous toys and a postcard that seems to have been created during the Dynasty-era of 80's graphic design, featuring brunette in a red teddy and fur coat and black bowtie lounging on a Rolls Royce parked by the Golden Gate Bridge, and says "San Francisco ain't cheap". I hung it on my desk next to my DJ "No Drama" sticker and my Leona Helmsley quote.

Some fabulous people have been quite generous in donating their time to me to help move this weekend. But I'm not opposed to more people, because the more people, the shorter the distance in the assembly line and the faster the move. So if you find yourself needing an upperbody workout, come by my old place on Belmont around 6 pm on Friday or the new place on Talman around 10 am on Saturday. Or if you're bored tonight or tomorrow and want to pack boxes, I'll be home doing that. In between writing that book report, of course.

Yee. Haw.

I really need you tonight....forever's gonna start tonight.

Despite my sometimes inability to take charge of my own destiny or even the smaller parts of my life and my occasional desire for a swift kick in the pants from some life coach or drill sargent or dominatrix, I still manage to take care of myself pretty well.

But this doesn't exactly explain the control-freak aspects of my personality. The moment I have to depend on someone else I get this feeling of dread, so much so that I often just change my mind and take it back shortly after asking or requesting or delegating a task. 'Just, never mind, I'll do it, never mind.'

I often joke that when I do allow someone else to handle a task, they somehow fail me or let me down, which just reiterates my initial desire to not trust anyone else to do anything ever. But then I wonder if I bring it on myself -- I approach the dynamic with such apprehension and unclear communication that I'm setting it up to fail and reaffirm what I already know.

Though to my credit, I did at one point look up at my life and realize I was surrounded by astonishing amounts of either gross incompetency or general immaturity and selfishness. But that was many years ago. Those folks are not around. I have remarkable numbers of competent and independent and self-sufficient people in my life who are also available for occasionally lending me a hand and can be depended on for quality assistance.

Except at work.