It's not up to you (it never really was)

Dear Diary,

Last night a long awaited dream came true. I sang "On My Own" at karaoke. Even better, it was a duet with a fabulous person who nailed Patti's part and frankly I was just happy to be on stage, along for the ride. I love karaoke. I love knowing people who love karaoke.

( and now for something completely different.... )

A Life in the Day of Raybear (Incomplete)

I can be really bad with dates. I can't remember birthdays to save my life and anniversaries only get remembered if they happen to be on the first or the fifteenth of a month, and even then they'll often pass by and I won't realized until 11 pm the day of. thebrownhornet used to think I was just giving him isht or teasing him when I'd ask for his actual birth date over and over again. No, really, I can't remember. I know you're a libra and it's sometimes in September....finally, limenal gave me a trick to help me out -- Damon's bday is the day before mine and hers is a week before mine, numberwise. Of course this didn't keep me from nearly sending her a gift on July 19th this year rather than August 19th. And this technique has been tapped out, because there's only so many numbers related to 26 I can keep in my mind before I'll start getting those mixed up. Even with dommeyourass, I often had to stop and think if February 7th is her birthday or if it was the date of infamous didn't-quite-happen-as-planned playdate that was the day after her birthday or if I was even off completely, but then I discovered her birthdate mirrors her birth year, so once again I had a trusty mnemonic device.

I can't even remember my own hormone birthday -- it's either October 23rd or 24th. But I can always go back to my livejournal and verify. I've also used livejournal to look up people's birthdays, anniversaries, last time I called in sick to work, etc. etc. However, in all this mess, I haven't used livejournal to remind me how old my livejournal is.

This past Saturday was the third anniversary of "raybear" on LJ. In the first two months I posted maybe half a dozen times. In December, I picked up the pace because I had more people on my friends page, I started physically changing after being on hormones on two months and started my legal name change, I was coming out to my family and going home to see them for the holidays, and I met this girl. Writing became somewhat sporadic again in January through April, but then I slowly started posting more regularly, even daily. I began experimenting and developing a journaling style, no matter how rough its beginning, that would later get honed and shaped to a somewhat regular and even entertaining chronicle of my daily life.

I've not been consistent with many things in my life as I have with livejournal. As ridiculous as it sounds, I honestly can't imagine what my life would look like right now without it, when I think about not only what it's done for me personally in my growth and aspirations, but also all the people and connections that have come from the medium. Astounding really, the extent of amazing friends, colleagues, lovers, and partners that have been brought along on this magic carpet ride. All from this computer program that feeds our narcissism and builds community and provides forums for discussion.

I'll stop waxing philosophically now. Here's to another three years or more.