I was trying to be someone.

I definitely remember putting a banana in my bag this morning to eat on the train, and when I got to work, it was nowhere to be found. For a moment, I thought I did eat it on the train but forgot. Then I thought someone had opened my bag and stolen it. More likely it fell out in Dommeyourass's car at some point when I was either untangling myself from the headphone cords or spilling 1/3 of my mug of coffee onto my legs and the floor of her car.

I really wanted that banana.

On the train I scored the only available seat, after asking the guy next to it to move his bag. He did so easily and with no attitude, yet I still always fear that people will sit and resent me the entire train ride. Of course I could have made matter worse by reading the newspaper over his shoulder, but I wasn't actually getting any negative vibes. Sometime around Clark/Lake, he tapped my arm.
"Are you getting off past Medical Center?"
"Um, which one? The only hospital downtown I know is Northwestern..."
"No, no, the train stop. There's a train stop called Medical Center. Are you getting off past it?"
"No, sorry. My stop is next." I was waiting for some question about directions, confused by his motivations.
He thanked me anyway then turned back in his seat. I noticed right before I got off that he was leaning again the window and dozing off, and put it together that he was going to ask me to wake him up so he didn't miss his stop. I found this moment of complete trust in a stranger to be absolutely beautiful.

If I could, you know I would, just hold your hand and understand.

I found a costume. Or more of an outfit. It's not so much having a Halloween costume as it's dressing up as in a different style and assuming a different personality. It's just a costume, a disguise, and alternate personality, right? Not necessarily a name brand or specific person? But a way to be unrecognizable when the ghouls and goblins come to take you, a way to say "hey, I'm not that person". So whatever works, especially since most years I get some great ideas for costumes in theory and do nothing about it. Damon and I talked at lunch that we can't even remember what we did last year on this date. I don't think I've been to a Halloween party since the time I tagged along with Rockstar Friend because I had a crush on the woman throwing it (who, incidentally, was Chip Starlight's roommate at the time).

Any excuse for wearing a wig, I think.

Frankly, I'd almost just like to stay home and watch a "scary" movie (specifically the movie Audition), but I'm also in this zone of being highly susceptible to the power of suggestion. And have I mentioned the wig? I need to show it off.

Questions for you:

What else are people doing tonight?

Unrelated, why does kundalini yoga scare me? Am I just being nervous and close-minded?

What songs should I get for tomorrow night's show? Halloween/alien themed dance numbers work, or just new songs on the radio you like. I've already got Ministry's Everyday is Halloween and Kelis's Milkshake on the list.