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Time flies while battling one's own skills in discipline and concentration. This week has been a struggle to stay sitting in various ways, literally and figuratively. The good news is I think I've found the definitive topic to focus on, the unifying force aligning numerous struggles: guilt. To me, it's the most pointless and useless of emotions, because though it can occasionally be harnassed to accomplish a task or two, the cost is never worth the payoff. Most of the time I find it to be utterly immobilizing rather than remotely motivating.
I've not perhaps even been wracked with guilt (as the young kids say) but more of a slow, constant bleeding into my everyday thoughts and feelings. Primarily about writing and working, but also in relationships. I don't even really have any insights on the matter, how it originates. At this point perhaps I can just be glad that I identified its existence. And not fall into the trap of getting angry/frustrated/guilty about my anger/frustrations/guilt. What was I saying yesterday at coffee? Getting angry about your anger just gives you two angers.
Ok, ok, be specific. Don't write vaguely, or in generalities, just like in fiction, in journaling, that is uninteresting.
Dear Raymond,
Pick up the phone and listen to your voicemails -- they won't hurt you. That's the easy part. But it's also easy to pick up those books and do that research and writing, because they're just words and they can be moved around and changed and you don't have to get it right the first time. Here's the thing about writing: you need to write a million words to find the 100,000 ones that are great. So get going. You can do it. I promise.
Yeah, it's that kinda day. The one where you tape motivational statements to your computer montior. Or forehead.
I DJed last night at the Elbo Room for the variety show, and it was a solid good time. The show was great and spinning was fun, although I got cut off somewhat unexpectedly. I wasn't expecting to really go to 2 am, but I figured at least 1 am, and then at quarter to midnight, the sound guy came over and gave a 15 minute warning. Ah well. Save my energy for DJing tonight at![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
saltjam's.
I've not perhaps even been wracked with guilt (as the young kids say) but more of a slow, constant bleeding into my everyday thoughts and feelings. Primarily about writing and working, but also in relationships. I don't even really have any insights on the matter, how it originates. At this point perhaps I can just be glad that I identified its existence. And not fall into the trap of getting angry/frustrated/guilty about my anger/frustrations/guilt. What was I saying yesterday at coffee? Getting angry about your anger just gives you two angers.
Ok, ok, be specific. Don't write vaguely, or in generalities, just like in fiction, in journaling, that is uninteresting.
Dear Raymond,
Pick up the phone and listen to your voicemails -- they won't hurt you. That's the easy part. But it's also easy to pick up those books and do that research and writing, because they're just words and they can be moved around and changed and you don't have to get it right the first time. Here's the thing about writing: you need to write a million words to find the 100,000 ones that are great. So get going. You can do it. I promise.
Yeah, it's that kinda day. The one where you tape motivational statements to your computer montior. Or forehead.
I DJed last night at the Elbo Room for the variety show, and it was a solid good time. The show was great and spinning was fun, although I got cut off somewhat unexpectedly. I wasn't expecting to really go to 2 am, but I figured at least 1 am, and then at quarter to midnight, the sound guy came over and gave a 15 minute warning. Ah well. Save my energy for DJing tonight at
saltjam's.
