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On Tuesday morning, we went to dollar breakfast in the local Long Beach cafe with a hot waiter who's in a band. They're all in a band, right? The kitchen was blasting classic rock and I heard Pink Floyd and it just sounded so good. I started craving it. J went hunting for her copy at the house for me, but struck out so I had to wait until I got home and it still sounds good now, though sometimes when I think of Dark Side of the Moon, I think of how MelRo can never listen to it because it was the dark side of adolescence period of her life that she does not wish to re-visit.
On Tuesday night I went to a sitting and dharma service in Santa Monica with Dawna that was great. Even though I got really attached to my own way of sitting and had a hard time letting go and doing thing their way -- the most obvious example of this was the lack of fixing/adjusting their mats and cushions after standing. The bowl would chime and they would stand and immediately go behind the mat and I could barely stand it. I usually adjusted my own mat as quickly as I could without holding up everyone else (it was a small group of 8). The dharma talk itself talked a lot about how strict or loose should your practice be, and what it means to say "The Middle Way". And how the leader of the sangha was talking about wanting to be more strict and rigid, just a little, even if it meant possibly driving away members. I, of course, looked around the room and saw that all the mats and cushions were in poor rumpled conditions, and thought "sheesh! Californians! they're TOO laidback. They need some more discipline and strictness in their practice!" Of course, then she talked about feelings of elitism in buddhism, which was appropriate as well -- I swear, most times I hear a dharma talk, it completely penetrates my heart and brain in a somewhat scary way. Though I mostly just take it as a sign that I'm in the right gig. I talked about all this in the car with Dawna on the way home, how fixing my mat is this small detail that's an important part of zen for me, one that made me someone who finally makes their bed in the morning. I spent my entire childhood never wanting to make my bed -- why bother, it'll just get messy the next night? I guess I'm a longtime recovering nihilist who's trying to rewrite my own story of Sysiphus.
Then Dawna drove me to Edith Edit's house and we went to a gay porno theater. That's another story.
On Wednesday I met up with Dawna again for lunch (we didn't have much time to hang out the night before), and then Adakan picked me up and we went to a different mexican restaurant. It seems to be the Antioch theme. We had a margarita until K-Plam showed up. Then we had another round. Then K-Plam and I were going to do a shot of tequila except she asked for it chilled so he poured it up in martini glass so it was more of a cocktail. And it was quality tequila. I don't think I can ever have Jose Cuervo again. Patron Silver all the way.
At this point, the host of the restaurant came up to me and said in a hushed conspiratorial tone, "how do you do it?" Turning to face a stranger, I suddenly realized I was drunk. I held it together though and didn't fall off the bar stool. He wanted to know how I landed two beautiful women. I told him you had to be born with it. He laughed and walked off.
Finally Assirap showed up from Orange County and we sat down to eat. And get another round. And the host came by again when he saw her and just laughed and shook his head and said, "I want to know how you do it!" It's true, all of my Antioch friends are quite attractive. And with the exception of my MFA-Husband, they're all straight women. They're all strong women, with significant liberal and feminist streaks, maybe even some small queer ones. But I love that it's a totally different energy from most of my friends here in Chicago.
I spent over 5 hours with them laughing so hard I understood the term "my side split". I love them so much and nearly cried when I hugged them all goodbye, except I was too happy to cry. Then in the car ride home, I unexpectedly fell asleep aka passed out, so Adakan just drove me home instead of another bar. I'm usually quite good at holding my liquor, so this was a bit unexpected. But I woke up with just a bit of dry mouth, nothing more, so I'm lucky.
Yesterday I did some shopping at a WeHo sex shop, then made the long public transportation trip to LAX. I got there nearly 2 hours early, and of course, there was virtually NO line (last time, I nearly missed my flight because the security lines were obscenely long). Turns out all Chicago flights were running 2 hours behind, and my 3:40 pm flight was supposedly on time, but the airline worker booked me on the 1 pm flight which was leaving at 3:15 pm. So in the midst of a delayed schedule, I actually made it home early. As I was walking through the terminal, I thought about how the world can conspire around your state of mind to match it. In December, I was NOT ready to return to Chicago. My heart and energy and atoms felt intertwined with L.A. and unwilling to separate. So even though I was freaking about nearly missing my flight and didn't want it to happen, looking back it seems apropos. This go round, I was ready to be back in Chicago, despite the snow. And the path was cleared for an easy re-entry.
Pictures to follow later.
On Tuesday night I went to a sitting and dharma service in Santa Monica with Dawna that was great. Even though I got really attached to my own way of sitting and had a hard time letting go and doing thing their way -- the most obvious example of this was the lack of fixing/adjusting their mats and cushions after standing. The bowl would chime and they would stand and immediately go behind the mat and I could barely stand it. I usually adjusted my own mat as quickly as I could without holding up everyone else (it was a small group of 8). The dharma talk itself talked a lot about how strict or loose should your practice be, and what it means to say "The Middle Way". And how the leader of the sangha was talking about wanting to be more strict and rigid, just a little, even if it meant possibly driving away members. I, of course, looked around the room and saw that all the mats and cushions were in poor rumpled conditions, and thought "sheesh! Californians! they're TOO laidback. They need some more discipline and strictness in their practice!" Of course, then she talked about feelings of elitism in buddhism, which was appropriate as well -- I swear, most times I hear a dharma talk, it completely penetrates my heart and brain in a somewhat scary way. Though I mostly just take it as a sign that I'm in the right gig. I talked about all this in the car with Dawna on the way home, how fixing my mat is this small detail that's an important part of zen for me, one that made me someone who finally makes their bed in the morning. I spent my entire childhood never wanting to make my bed -- why bother, it'll just get messy the next night? I guess I'm a longtime recovering nihilist who's trying to rewrite my own story of Sysiphus.
Then Dawna drove me to Edith Edit's house and we went to a gay porno theater. That's another story.
On Wednesday I met up with Dawna again for lunch (we didn't have much time to hang out the night before), and then Adakan picked me up and we went to a different mexican restaurant. It seems to be the Antioch theme. We had a margarita until K-Plam showed up. Then we had another round. Then K-Plam and I were going to do a shot of tequila except she asked for it chilled so he poured it up in martini glass so it was more of a cocktail. And it was quality tequila. I don't think I can ever have Jose Cuervo again. Patron Silver all the way.
At this point, the host of the restaurant came up to me and said in a hushed conspiratorial tone, "how do you do it?" Turning to face a stranger, I suddenly realized I was drunk. I held it together though and didn't fall off the bar stool. He wanted to know how I landed two beautiful women. I told him you had to be born with it. He laughed and walked off.
Finally Assirap showed up from Orange County and we sat down to eat. And get another round. And the host came by again when he saw her and just laughed and shook his head and said, "I want to know how you do it!" It's true, all of my Antioch friends are quite attractive. And with the exception of my MFA-Husband, they're all straight women. They're all strong women, with significant liberal and feminist streaks, maybe even some small queer ones. But I love that it's a totally different energy from most of my friends here in Chicago.
I spent over 5 hours with them laughing so hard I understood the term "my side split". I love them so much and nearly cried when I hugged them all goodbye, except I was too happy to cry. Then in the car ride home, I unexpectedly fell asleep aka passed out, so Adakan just drove me home instead of another bar. I'm usually quite good at holding my liquor, so this was a bit unexpected. But I woke up with just a bit of dry mouth, nothing more, so I'm lucky.
Yesterday I did some shopping at a WeHo sex shop, then made the long public transportation trip to LAX. I got there nearly 2 hours early, and of course, there was virtually NO line (last time, I nearly missed my flight because the security lines were obscenely long). Turns out all Chicago flights were running 2 hours behind, and my 3:40 pm flight was supposedly on time, but the airline worker booked me on the 1 pm flight which was leaving at 3:15 pm. So in the midst of a delayed schedule, I actually made it home early. As I was walking through the terminal, I thought about how the world can conspire around your state of mind to match it. In December, I was NOT ready to return to Chicago. My heart and energy and atoms felt intertwined with L.A. and unwilling to separate. So even though I was freaking about nearly missing my flight and didn't want it to happen, looking back it seems apropos. This go round, I was ready to be back in Chicago, despite the snow. And the path was cleared for an easy re-entry.
Pictures to follow later.
