Darling, stop confusing me with your wishful thinking.

What did I do different on Friday? I can't remember. But Saturday morning I woke up with lower back pain, my muscles tense and sore. I figured I slept crooked. I put ice on it off and on, and by the evening it wasn't too bad. A little stiff. Yesterday it seemed totally fine, so I biked probably 5 miles and then in the evening did lots of flogging. We had a dinner/flogging date with drinkasyoupour and nineinchlovely that was so nice and lowkey and informative and fun and sexy, but all in non-intense scene ways. Afterwards, I was pretty sleepy from my long day, so I did some journaling and reading and went to bed. But something happened in the night to my back again. And I woke up hundreds of times because of the pain. But I'd never wake up completely enough to DO anything about it. It was like my body would twist in sleep, pain would shoot up to my brain, I'd wake up with a start, but fall back asleep to try to escape the pain. My dreams were stressful and weird. I hadn't felt this crappy since November post-surgery when I was constantly uncomfortable and struggling to sleep on my back.

I woke up early, hating the world for not being in pain too. (If by "world", I meant the live beings in bed with me.) I struggled to get an ice pack and got back into bed, falling asleep for another couple hours. DYA woke up at the same time I did and was so chipper and active, I didn't recognize her. It was a little overwhelming in my state, but I was happy she brought me water and food and ice packs and coffee and tylenol. After a couple hours of icing and resting, I was more mobile so I went for a short walk with her.

I've been up and down all day -- a position will be comfortable for about 30 minutes, then I must switch. The variation has made the day go faster and feel more productive. But now my wrists are sore from typing for long periods on the laptop. Why are bodies so fallible? I don't like the reminders.