Jun. 28th, 2005

raybear: (Default)
The thing about the residency is there's a schedule. A very strict schedule in place that's followed uniformly for the most part. Sure, occasionally lectures start a little late or run over a bit, but never more than 5 minutes for the most part, and there are 10 minute breaks built in between every activity, so it realigns quickly. There is some flexibility, it's not required to go to every event, and in fact this past residency, I attended the fewest activities yet, but I was still busy. I still had a schedule to look at every day and decide, do I want to do to that? If not, how will I spend that hour and a half before it's time to go to the next event? It's all neatly compartmentalized into pockets of time and activities. I get so much done.

My life needs a schedule. Maybe I'll start with a to-do list.

I keep thinking I'm just letting myself recover, catching up on sleep, re-acquainting myself with home, the apartment, my life. But I think I'm really sliding down the slippery slope of not doing anything. I am prone to inertia in both directions. Doing something makes me want to do more somethings. Doing nothing breeds contempt.

The one thing I am still doing is reading. I read all of Jane: A Murder in practically one sitting and will probably re-read it again before writing up my annotation. I'm more than halfway through with Tim O'Brien's The Things They Carried. I have a big pile of books I'm already excited about and even more coming in the mail. I keep thinking about this quote about people who don't read are no different from people who can't read. I keep thinking about my own writing and wonder if I'll ever be able to just read a book again on its own accord without trying to see through the curtain and learn the mechanics, but then I think that I don't care if that's true.

Time to brave the heat and hit the pavement. Maybe I'll bring a book with me.

May 2010

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