Afraid and shy, I let my chance go by.
I have this really nice e-mail correspondence going on that's been happening for.....hmm, I just checked and it's exactly a month today. A couple weeks into it, I expressed hesitation to add this person to my livejournal out of concern that I would slack on the e-mail and use my public and semi-private ramblings as corresponding instead, and I didn't want that and I didn't do that, but instead I just stopped writing here much. There are other items consuming my time and energy too -- freelance deadlines and writing deadlines and teaching deadlines. Often I say if I really want to be doing something, I will make it happen. Sometimes there are physical and mental limits to this, of course. I have been a little disinterested in writing, at least in a critical or sustained way that involves crafting, not just the pure output of my brain by way of my fingertips. Then I missed it desperately. Then I realized I would have lots of time next week, entire days off with no obligations, and it was all good. Now I'm back to a zone of talking myself out of writing. Ah, the sine curve of my life.
There's also this thing that happens during season changes, at least the ones around the equinox..es (equini? I think it's like 'fish' and the plural is the same) and I could probably go back to my journal 6 months ago, then a year ago, then 18 months ago, and find repeats of the thoughts on nostalgia and time moving and accessing memories from banks that normally stay closed even during business hours on weekdays. This evening on the bus I thought of something, something from way back, and it made me cringe so badly in the way that is oddly satisfying as much as uncomfortable, but it didn't last long at all. I can't even remember the story now.
In Concrete News, next week I don't teach, which means in addition to riding my bike, reading fluffy books, writing for myself, and writing for a deadline for a scholarship to a writing conference in June, I also need to be looking for some sort of employment that will pay me. I only have one more week of teaching left, and the last paycheck will roll in 2 weeks after that to get me through a bit, and I'm only making note of this whole employment situation, because I'm not rushed or concerned which is either really stupid or really confident. Let's go with the latter. I would like a job that involves riding around on my bicycle in a suit. Is the Mormon Company hiring, and if so, what is their pay scale?
I'm leaving town for the weekend, coming back, going to L.A. at the end of the month, coming back, possibly going to downstate Indiana for awhile, coming back, possibly going to SF, coming back, possibly going back to Indiana because my manuscript will be so great they will pay me to come workshop it, coming back. Possibly going to Michigan to retreat and write. Possibly drive to L.A. by way of the southwest United States. Possibly drive down South. What if I took all these trips in a Planters Peanuts truck or some other ridiculous advertising vehicle that would pay for gas and lodging? That could be my summer job.
Really, I just need to finish this damn C.V. and send it out to my contacts. But it's kinda fun to think about other possibilites.
There's also this thing that happens during season changes, at least the ones around the equinox..es (equini? I think it's like 'fish' and the plural is the same) and I could probably go back to my journal 6 months ago, then a year ago, then 18 months ago, and find repeats of the thoughts on nostalgia and time moving and accessing memories from banks that normally stay closed even during business hours on weekdays. This evening on the bus I thought of something, something from way back, and it made me cringe so badly in the way that is oddly satisfying as much as uncomfortable, but it didn't last long at all. I can't even remember the story now.
In Concrete News, next week I don't teach, which means in addition to riding my bike, reading fluffy books, writing for myself, and writing for a deadline for a scholarship to a writing conference in June, I also need to be looking for some sort of employment that will pay me. I only have one more week of teaching left, and the last paycheck will roll in 2 weeks after that to get me through a bit, and I'm only making note of this whole employment situation, because I'm not rushed or concerned which is either really stupid or really confident. Let's go with the latter. I would like a job that involves riding around on my bicycle in a suit. Is the Mormon Company hiring, and if so, what is their pay scale?
I'm leaving town for the weekend, coming back, going to L.A. at the end of the month, coming back, possibly going to downstate Indiana for awhile, coming back, possibly going to SF, coming back, possibly going back to Indiana because my manuscript will be so great they will pay me to come workshop it, coming back. Possibly going to Michigan to retreat and write. Possibly drive to L.A. by way of the southwest United States. Possibly drive down South. What if I took all these trips in a Planters Peanuts truck or some other ridiculous advertising vehicle that would pay for gas and lodging? That could be my summer job.
Really, I just need to finish this damn C.V. and send it out to my contacts. But it's kinda fun to think about other possibilites.