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Having just a vision's no solution.
Jul. 18th, 2006 10:16 amI slept so much last night, started to fall asleep before 10 even, and went all the way to the alarm going off at 7 am. I rarely sleep more than 7 hours in a row. Last night I dreamt about a book I was writing, or rather at that point I was revising and rearranging pieces and editing it and it felt exciting. Don't remember the plot or subject at all, of course.
Piece by piece, coming together. After writing last week about having my teaching proposal rejected, a few days later I got an e-mail from the same person asking if I would be interested in two program slots they had. I wrote back "yes". I have an interview this week with another organization (hopefully, still waiting for confirmation) for a teaching position that would be EXACTLY what I want, namely a small workshop setting. So right now, I have 3 prospects that are on the verge of going my way, which is pretty fcking great.
It's certainly a bit stressful at times to frequently be on the verge of completely broke (or more accurately, one month away from it, as I've gotten pretty good at always looking forward). But two years into my career as a freelancer/working artist/ex-middle class dilettante, I'm doing alright, I suppose. I get questions all the time at my temp job about if I'm looking for permanent work, jokes about me staying with their firm, questions about why I don't want the security of the day-job. I usually just shrug. Of course, in the middle of writing this, I realized I haven't yet paid a couple bills this month and I'm looking at my checking account and thinking about eating all my words and realizing I should probably go to the bank sooner rather than later this week. Mostly I'm just grateful that there's constantly movement going on in my life with career stuff, even if it's treading water while I try to figure out what the fck is next.
But I'm feeling more balanced and hopeful and I'm thinking of projects and steps and making plans and lists and starting to do them, not just look at them. Still aren't enough hours in the day, but at least I'm making better use of the ones given. Also, hello, listening to The Essential Barbra Streisand while washing dishes, that's always a feel-good. Bring on the fag comments. Also, I just discovered that NBC reruns Project Runway on Monday nights so now the cable-less folks like me can still participate in the joy. I know what I'll be doing every Monday night for the rest of the summer.
Piece by piece, coming together. After writing last week about having my teaching proposal rejected, a few days later I got an e-mail from the same person asking if I would be interested in two program slots they had. I wrote back "yes". I have an interview this week with another organization (hopefully, still waiting for confirmation) for a teaching position that would be EXACTLY what I want, namely a small workshop setting. So right now, I have 3 prospects that are on the verge of going my way, which is pretty fcking great.
It's certainly a bit stressful at times to frequently be on the verge of completely broke (or more accurately, one month away from it, as I've gotten pretty good at always looking forward). But two years into my career as a freelancer/working artist/ex-middle class dilettante, I'm doing alright, I suppose. I get questions all the time at my temp job about if I'm looking for permanent work, jokes about me staying with their firm, questions about why I don't want the security of the day-job. I usually just shrug. Of course, in the middle of writing this, I realized I haven't yet paid a couple bills this month and I'm looking at my checking account and thinking about eating all my words and realizing I should probably go to the bank sooner rather than later this week. Mostly I'm just grateful that there's constantly movement going on in my life with career stuff, even if it's treading water while I try to figure out what the fck is next.
But I'm feeling more balanced and hopeful and I'm thinking of projects and steps and making plans and lists and starting to do them, not just look at them. Still aren't enough hours in the day, but at least I'm making better use of the ones given. Also, hello, listening to The Essential Barbra Streisand while washing dishes, that's always a feel-good. Bring on the fag comments. Also, I just discovered that NBC reruns Project Runway on Monday nights so now the cable-less folks like me can still participate in the joy. I know what I'll be doing every Monday night for the rest of the summer.
