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I've been eating really well lately, as in I eat stuff that tastes good and mostly that I made and is mostly nutritionally balanced. I like it. It means more dishes to wash, a little more effort during the day, and probably more trips to the store, but I am seeing and feeling the benefits. Especially now. Because I went up to Evanston today and worked for 3 hours and I was so hungry on the way home and craving fast food and I'm still slightly sick in that my head is mucousy and under pressure, so I thought, hey, let's go for the comfort food on the way home, go for the immediate gratification, the treat, its okay.
It made me feel, ok, I know this sounds a little dramatic, but it made me feel a little bit like I want to die. I mean that completely honestly, not in a hyperbole way. I literally had to take a few deep breaths because my body and head went to some bad places for a few seconds. Then it went away and I am back to general feelings of malaise that frequently follow McMeals. But I felt compelled to document the brief moment so maybe it'll start to sink in that momentary pleasure is no longer worth it. And also, that isht is kinda scary, given that I've been in pretty good mental place lately, to have such specific dire thoughts came way out of left field, so I think it really was caused by the food. I would have been better off coming home and eating hot dogs, which obviously isn't stellar either, but at least it wouldn't make me feel like laying down on train tracks for a permanent nap.
Maybe tomorrow is a good day to start the "CleanseSmart" I bought for myself in SF.
It made me feel, ok, I know this sounds a little dramatic, but it made me feel a little bit like I want to die. I mean that completely honestly, not in a hyperbole way. I literally had to take a few deep breaths because my body and head went to some bad places for a few seconds. Then it went away and I am back to general feelings of malaise that frequently follow McMeals. But I felt compelled to document the brief moment so maybe it'll start to sink in that momentary pleasure is no longer worth it. And also, that isht is kinda scary, given that I've been in pretty good mental place lately, to have such specific dire thoughts came way out of left field, so I think it really was caused by the food. I would have been better off coming home and eating hot dogs, which obviously isn't stellar either, but at least it wouldn't make me feel like laying down on train tracks for a permanent nap.
Maybe tomorrow is a good day to start the "CleanseSmart" I bought for myself in SF.
