Some can't relate, but that's life.

I haven't been posting much, not intentionally -- though now that I notice, I start to think, oh god, I can't remember what I did last weekend -- I should have journalled about it! Its gone forever. And now I have to write the longest catch-up post ever! I don't want to! So I don't. Which means sometimes there are gaps in the record, but hey, we'll live.

There are some various reasons I haven't been distracted from wanting to write lj, because my attention has been given to:

a. My inexplicable leap in Scramble prowess. (For those who don't know, its an online Boggle type game on facebook.) I'm playing a lot more games.
b. Daily Lit. I'm currently reading Madame Bovary and Ethan Frome.
c. I'm also reading a tactile book -- The Kite Runner. (I know, its kinda crazy that I'm reading three novels simultaneously, but it actually kinda works and I think its because my brain was trained by my years of reading livejournal friends page, which is about having dozens of narratives in your head at one time and jumping from one to the other with minimal transitions.)
d. The few brief warm sunny moments of last week, I went outside as much as possible, to either ride my bike to the gym, eat at Hot Doug's with for lunch, go for a walk to the library, buy bread at the bakery a few blocks over.
e. I spent a lot of time last week (and still am spending a little time) freaking out about stumbling upon a group on Facebook containing a large slice from my church community growing up. Suddenly all these memories that had been locked up got let loose and people were contacting me, texting me, and my friend in KY said, do you feel like you just got released from the Witness Protection program? Yeah, a little.
f. I kinda miss Cupcakes. No, still no word. (I wasn't planning to communicate him again, but I did text him one more time yesterday. That's it though, for real.) This is such a bizarre, unexpected and unresolved ending to our dating.

I mostly have a lot to say and write about item "E" but that will have to come later. I'm still not ready to go there fully. Or rather, outside of the confines of my brain.

I had jury duty last week. Now, while there, I sort of realized something about myself. I'm really good at waiting. Seriously. I am almost always prepared for it, with a book or headphones or a pad and paper (though usually all three) but sometimes when I have those things, I don't use them -- I'm perfectly content to sit and stare or people-watch. It is often relaxing, but at the very least, it rarely makes me anxious (there are a few exceptions: like being stuck underground on a stopped subway train. That is not always relaxing, but sometimes I can use breathing exercises to trick myself into my laconic waiting state of mind.)

Having said all that, dude, jury duty is boring. And there is a lot of waiting. I sat in a room and waited to watch a hilarious training video. Fine. I waited for two hours while other people got pulled out of the room to report to a courtroom. Fine. My group got called and we had to do lots of waiting in hallways and elevators to get to the courtroom. Fine. We got in the courtroom and waited until we were told to go to lunch and report back in an hour. Fine. I go to lunch and wait in line. I eat and wait for the hour to pass. I go back to the courtroom and wait in line at security. I wait out the courtroom. And wait. And they say wait fifteen minutes. And we wait 30 minutes. And then they come out but don't say anything. And we wait. And wait. And finally they say, good news! They settled! We have your checks and your dismissed for the day.

So I wait to hear my name called.
Then I go outside and wait for a bus.
Then I wait for the bus to arrive downtown.

It was a day with a lot of waiting.