We hung up our lives.

Its been a fairly amazing weekend, mostly in its simplicity of activities and my ability to enjoy them. Spring might not be fully here in the weather of Chicago, where a chance of snow is threatening us in a day or two, but my depression lens has been flipped over. Tonight I went to a Slightly Late Seder and this afternoon I wasn't really feeling it -- it was Sunday, I wanted to lounge and hide in my smelly lounging clothes aka my post-workout pants, but I motivated because it was important to the people organizing it who invited me, and therefore it is important to me, even if I wasn't feeling it right that second. And fairly soon after walking in the door, I had forgotten any of the initial sloth and social anxiety and it was a lovely evening and pulled up all these memories of past rituals in my history (even if they were not remotely connected to seders) and also connected to my few present day rituals (the burning of defilements is so similar to the removal of chametz). There were several parts during the haggadah I was moved, but here a couple specific things I wanted to type out and say again, not just wait for next year to stumble upon them.

"There is nothing more whole than a broken heart."
-- Chassidic Kotzker Rebbe

"If your own suffering does not serve to unite you with the suffering of others, if your own imprisonment does not join you with others in prison, if you in your smallness remain alone, then your pain has been for naught."
-- The Jewish Organizing Initiative Haggadah (1999)