Be true because they'll lock you up in a sad sad zoo

At walgreens moments ago, I was starting to feel paranoid about how many people gave me looks. I wasn't in costume yet! But I was walking around in a suit coat and dark pants, not hoodie sweatshirts and pajama pants, like the majority of visits there. You get people's attention when dressed fancy and professional. I guess Dad was right.

I am going to a halloween party tonight and I'm so out of the habit of going out, I'm pretty much ready to go, even though my ride/surrogate date isn't coming to pick me up for, oh, over an hour. My costume consists of two props and is primarily conceptual. I suppose I can write about it here because I'm not ruining the surprise, because by the time blondestallion reads this, the party will be done. I found this cyborg mask on sale at the grocery store, that covers most of my head, but open from the nose down, attempting to imitate the Glorious Captain Picard from the end of the third season of Next Generation. I like it because I can breath and cut an extra nose hole so I won't fog up my glasses, which I can also wear under the mask and they help it fit more properly anyway, interestingly enough. But I wasn't sure my clothes would be, how far would I take this costume, would I go to the hardware store and find dryer ducts and make them into arms? That seemed ambitious. So I decided to just wear some "everyday guy" clothes and make a nametag that says "Hank" and when someone asks, tell them I just came from an ex-borg meeting. I know, I know, most people would have never guessed I used to be a borg, but I've been free from the collective for three and a half years now, but I still go to meeting occasionally, gotta stay strong, walk the path, and mentor those newly ex-borg as well.

I also got one of those microphone things that make your voice sound like a monster or alien and so sometimes I'll make my voice 'slip' while talking about borg-ish stuff.

Will I be able to maintain a character the whole evening? It might depend on how sober I am. But I have the mask to hide behind and its a party made up almost exclusively of people I don't know. Wait, one of those might cancel out the other. Anyway, I'm mostly just excited by this microphone gadget.

I've been sad a lot lately. Hours on end, days in a row. But it doesn't necessarily feel like depression, in that paralysis numb way. Its more the filter of grief, just walking around in it like mist. I'm maybe ready to be done with it, but I'm trying not to sweat it too hard either. Though I do think its officially time to reactivate my YMCA membership and hit the gym again. Also, I miss mintwaster, cocolola, keetbabe, foxycoxy and swampgirl, and that is the place I can run into them more.