Board of Directors: Mr. Raymond
Aug. 9th, 2002 04:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raybearI hope one day to acquire a small legion of sycophants to help me make it through the day. Except I would constantly be firing them, I'm sure.
I can't stand excessive praise or unearned compliments. They feel so hollow and pointless and degrading. I never trust someone who constantly tells me how great I am, which either means I don't have low self-esteem because I don't fall into the trap, or it means my self-esteem is so cripplingly low that nothing can boost.
For some reason, I doubt the latter. Not so sure about the former, but probably not either.
I've made two fabulous decisions today -- the first was lunch with Paradise Regained which cheered me up and also gave me the idea to approach Madness Librarian about starting a film discussion group, open to all but perhaps targeting queer men. The second fabulous decision was calling Shana, because, well, it's Shana and she's fabulous. And I find myself telling her things that have been bouncing around in my head yet somehow seem different and more real once they're said aloud, and I like that feeling.
Will there be third or fourth fabulous decisions made today? It remains to be seen.
Have I mentioned that I'm considering forming a 501(c) arts organization with Poet Friend and her playwright husband? It's just a nebulous idea right now, but I wouldn't mind adding something of that nature to my resume. Plus, we'd be eligible for more funding and I could have collaborators and a space for my own sound projects. Hm.
I can't stand excessive praise or unearned compliments. They feel so hollow and pointless and degrading. I never trust someone who constantly tells me how great I am, which either means I don't have low self-esteem because I don't fall into the trap, or it means my self-esteem is so cripplingly low that nothing can boost.
For some reason, I doubt the latter. Not so sure about the former, but probably not either.
I've made two fabulous decisions today -- the first was lunch with Paradise Regained which cheered me up and also gave me the idea to approach Madness Librarian about starting a film discussion group, open to all but perhaps targeting queer men. The second fabulous decision was calling Shana, because, well, it's Shana and she's fabulous. And I find myself telling her things that have been bouncing around in my head yet somehow seem different and more real once they're said aloud, and I like that feeling.
Will there be third or fourth fabulous decisions made today? It remains to be seen.
Have I mentioned that I'm considering forming a 501(c) arts organization with Poet Friend and her playwright husband? It's just a nebulous idea right now, but I wouldn't mind adding something of that nature to my resume. Plus, we'd be eligible for more funding and I could have collaborators and a space for my own sound projects. Hm.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
i'll be your sycophant.
Date: 2002-08-16 10:40 am (UTC)my first fabulous decision of the day, not including that i emailed certain assistant editors and said, maybe we should kill this, was to put on coltrane. number 2 has been catching up on your LJ, because it's maybe where my head's at or you've been more poetic than usual.
and you can fire me all you want, but i'm never really leaving. (now it's glenn close in "the paper" and "you are so. fucking. fired.")
Re: i'll be your sycophant.
Date: 2002-08-16 11:48 am (UTC)also, when i hear sycophant, i actually think of High Art, when Ally Sheedy's girlfriend, played by the wonder Patricia Clarkson, says "I don't want you hanging around that 'psychophant'", completely mispronouncing the word with her german accent....
yay for coltrane. yay for glenn close.
and just for the record i always think of you when i think of The Paper. i know that's not too exciting, but still.