If it's Murder, you know She Wrote it.
Oct. 28th, 2002 11:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raybearOn Friday morning, I stood up one stop earlier than usual to wait by the door . Usually everyone departs at Lake, but I don't get off until Monroe (or Jackson if I fell asleep). At Washington I'm leaning near the doors when the open. A man is sitting on the bench about five feet away. For some reason this reminds me to adust my shoulder bag, which causes the clip of my cheap walkman to slide off and the whole thing falls to the ground.
It flies forward and hits the floor of the train, bounces, rotates 180 degrees, lands again, attempts to bounce but only rattles back and forth. I started to reach out and grab it when it was falling, but feared I'd only bumble the operation, causing the apparatus to to drop into the 4 inch gap between the train and the platform, a dark abyss of no return. I pull my hand back and just observe while holding my breath. I watch it bounce and rattle. I hear the doors chime "Doors Closing". Through my peripheral vision I could sense the man on the bench watching to see the outcome.
The walkman stops. It teeters on the edge. The doors start to close and my hand shoots out and collects my prized possession. Not the 9 dollar Walgreens walkman, but the copy of Deathmatch Volume 3 mixtape that it contains. I could survive my walkman dying a fiery electrical death on the train tracks, but not my mixtape creation. Especially since I don't have the playlist written down so I couldn't easily recreate the 110 minute non-masterpiece. It's a flawed project, not the strongest of the five volumes, but I would still cry if it was lost.
But it survived. A brief moment where, despite the tragic possible outcome, I allowed myself to just observe the physics of fate and deal with the consequences. And I was rewarded.
Thursday evening: I spent money at Old Navy, but finally found my dream stripey winter cap. I hope it will never die an electrical fiery death either. Kater and I stopped by the Ralph Lauren store near Michigan Avenue to visit a college friend. The store is not like a store -- it's like the mahogany filled house of an uber-wealthy north shore socialite. I feared we'd be eject for carrying Old Navy shopping bags. Luckily I was at least wearing a dress shirt and sweater. Kater's friend eyed me a little but I tried not to make something out of nothing. Later, she told me he said "so who's your friend Raymond?" and seemed to express interest at getting my number from her. I was stunned because he was so gorgeous and faggy but not necessarily in the way that I adore, but more in the way of people who snub me. I was extremely flattered but will not pursue since Kater informed me he's emotionally an infant. Later that evening we dined at Leona's and drank at Stargaze. I was a kept boy who never pulled out his wallet but got drunk off of Kater and The Other Lesbian's buying of rounds. (The Other Lesbian: I think that's her name in![[livejournal.com profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/external/lj-userinfo.gif)
limenal's journal.) I ran into Paradise Regained's girlfriend and was immediately corrected that she's her ex-girlfriend now. Oops.
Friday: I called Paradise Regained because we obviously hadn't spoken in awhile since I didn't know about her changing relationship status. We had lunch. It was perfectly scandalous and wonderful. Later on I went to the work event and proceeeded to get drunk while working the door (there was really not much work -- I had to collect checks from four people). I stayed for dinner but not the whole program, choosing instead to hop on the bus and then walk from Diversey/Sheridan to home. I called six people on my cell phone. Only one of them answered and we talked for a long time and he gave me dating tips. I went to bed at 10:30 pm. I either passed out or I fell asleep, since I couldn't tell if I was still drunk or just tired and sick.
At this time I must pause and point out that Angelina and I played phone tag the ENTIRE weekend. I think we called each other approximately 7 times each. From now on, I'm only talking to her voicemail -- I'll just call and tell anecdote after anecdote.
Saturday: I had a by-myself meeting that included watching many movies. Damon came over later on and we caught up each other on our busy weeks and watched more movies.
Sunday: I forgot to set my clock back and was early to brunch. Guess who I had brunch with? (this question is really only forwearemany) Kater, Lane and Craig. Which brings me to my next point -- hanging out with Kater these past 5 days has been supremely weird. Like I was placed in a time warp. I don't think hanging out with her has been this much like junior year since.....junior year. Not bad. Just strange. But also good, I think. Anyway, later I drove her to the airport, came home, talked on the phone, then drove to a different airport to pick up MelRo and New Law School Friend. Sophie puked in the car on the way there. She has such a delicate stomach -- I think anytime the routine changes she fears being abandoned in the shelter again.
Now it's Monday morning. That pretty much brings us current. Thanks for tuning in this far.
It flies forward and hits the floor of the train, bounces, rotates 180 degrees, lands again, attempts to bounce but only rattles back and forth. I started to reach out and grab it when it was falling, but feared I'd only bumble the operation, causing the apparatus to to drop into the 4 inch gap between the train and the platform, a dark abyss of no return. I pull my hand back and just observe while holding my breath. I watch it bounce and rattle. I hear the doors chime "Doors Closing". Through my peripheral vision I could sense the man on the bench watching to see the outcome.
The walkman stops. It teeters on the edge. The doors start to close and my hand shoots out and collects my prized possession. Not the 9 dollar Walgreens walkman, but the copy of Deathmatch Volume 3 mixtape that it contains. I could survive my walkman dying a fiery electrical death on the train tracks, but not my mixtape creation. Especially since I don't have the playlist written down so I couldn't easily recreate the 110 minute non-masterpiece. It's a flawed project, not the strongest of the five volumes, but I would still cry if it was lost.
But it survived. A brief moment where, despite the tragic possible outcome, I allowed myself to just observe the physics of fate and deal with the consequences. And I was rewarded.
Thursday evening: I spent money at Old Navy, but finally found my dream stripey winter cap. I hope it will never die an electrical fiery death either. Kater and I stopped by the Ralph Lauren store near Michigan Avenue to visit a college friend. The store is not like a store -- it's like the mahogany filled house of an uber-wealthy north shore socialite. I feared we'd be eject for carrying Old Navy shopping bags. Luckily I was at least wearing a dress shirt and sweater. Kater's friend eyed me a little but I tried not to make something out of nothing. Later, she told me he said "so who's your friend Raymond?" and seemed to express interest at getting my number from her. I was stunned because he was so gorgeous and faggy but not necessarily in the way that I adore, but more in the way of people who snub me. I was extremely flattered but will not pursue since Kater informed me he's emotionally an infant. Later that evening we dined at Leona's and drank at Stargaze. I was a kept boy who never pulled out his wallet but got drunk off of Kater and The Other Lesbian's buying of rounds. (The Other Lesbian: I think that's her name in
limenal's journal.) I ran into Paradise Regained's girlfriend and was immediately corrected that she's her ex-girlfriend now. Oops. Friday: I called Paradise Regained because we obviously hadn't spoken in awhile since I didn't know about her changing relationship status. We had lunch. It was perfectly scandalous and wonderful. Later on I went to the work event and proceeeded to get drunk while working the door (there was really not much work -- I had to collect checks from four people). I stayed for dinner but not the whole program, choosing instead to hop on the bus and then walk from Diversey/Sheridan to home. I called six people on my cell phone. Only one of them answered and we talked for a long time and he gave me dating tips. I went to bed at 10:30 pm. I either passed out or I fell asleep, since I couldn't tell if I was still drunk or just tired and sick.
At this time I must pause and point out that Angelina and I played phone tag the ENTIRE weekend. I think we called each other approximately 7 times each. From now on, I'm only talking to her voicemail -- I'll just call and tell anecdote after anecdote.
Saturday: I had a by-myself meeting that included watching many movies. Damon came over later on and we caught up each other on our busy weeks and watched more movies.
Sunday: I forgot to set my clock back and was early to brunch. Guess who I had brunch with? (this question is really only for
wearemany) Kater, Lane and Craig. Which brings me to my next point -- hanging out with Kater these past 5 days has been supremely weird. Like I was placed in a time warp. I don't think hanging out with her has been this much like junior year since.....junior year. Not bad. Just strange. But also good, I think. Anyway, later I drove her to the airport, came home, talked on the phone, then drove to a different airport to pick up MelRo and New Law School Friend. Sophie puked in the car on the way there. She has such a delicate stomach -- I think anytime the routine changes she fears being abandoned in the shelter again.Now it's Monday morning. That pretty much brings us current. Thanks for tuning in this far.
