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Jul. 9th, 2001 04:42 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
raybearOk, I get the feeling that most folks who read my journal are either regular weed smokers, or they never touch the stuff. I am someone who's only done pot (though I"m interested in perhaps trying ecstasy at some point) and I only smoked it for the first time about 2 years ago. If I thought really hard, I could probably count every single time I've had it, and I guarantee it wouldn't be more than a dozen times. So anyway, I just wanted to jot down a couple of things about my experience last night and no one should feel compelled to either do intervention for doing drugs, or intervention for being a dork. And I also hope for those with whom this is old hat, that they wouldn't think I'm some newbie geek. I'm a textbook case for a recreational drug user, and I understand that not everyone is.
When we first did a few hits, I think I went into the typical "Talk a lot and talk fast", but I can sometimes slip into that mode anyway. It just becomes more obvious if I'm around mellow smokers who get more quiet. The physical sensation tends to go into my legs, and I get these weird prickly sensations, and I feel like energy is pushing the muscles around. I'm sure this makes no sense, but it's a familiar physical sensation that I can really describe. But this is almost what it's similar to -- you know when you were a kid, and you'd do the trick where someone would hold your arms by your side and you would use all of your energy to try and raise your arms for about 2 minutes, then when they person let your arms go, they would "float" upwards? Ok, it's sort of like that. My legs don't obviously float, but there's sort of an involuntary muscle push. This wasn't helping me when it came to standing on the train.
For most of the evening, I just had the typicals side effects of feeling relaxed while my brain sort of simultanesously runs at full prime. Sometimes it goes a little overboard, like when I was talking about counting everyone in the room, but normally I enjoy it. But to be honest, I think I prefer to be high alone. I was sort of itching for folks to leave my apt, then as soon as I did, I took off my clothes and just enjoyed the sensation of the cool sheets and being horizontal. I also had the ability to close my eyes and just imediately start dreaming. I can sometimes to this when sober but really tired, or sober and really wrapped up in some fantasy/idea. But when high it's much more involuntary and I feel a lot less direct control, so I can basically just enjoy the show.
The other weird thing is that last night I had a super piercing and sharp headache, probably from dehydration and too-strong drinks made by bartenders at the event. But then I was really high, so even though I could feel the muscles in my head twitching and pulsing, and I knew I had a headache, it didn't necessarily affect me (or incapicitate me) as far as normal headaches do. So of course I started thinking about the whole weed as a painkiller for folks with cancer and such.
Anyway, it was a good high, even if I overdid it a tad. But the fact that it's so good makes me wonder why I don't do it more often, while simultaneously scaring me into not doing it more often. Like I"m afraid I'll get all de-sensitized and isht. But I definitely think it would be nice to have on hand for the occasionaly anxiety attacks. Not much different than self-medicating with a beer or kava kava, assuming I keep it small doses not too often. And like I said earlier, I'm lucky that I tend to have a non-addictive personality (when it comes to substances, but not to people -- ha ha), plus I don't have any family history of addiction. And I'm a bit of hypochondriac, so I'd probably intervene myself before anyone else had a chance.
My primary experience with weed is with folks who have various "mental illnesses" who self-medicate themselves in a pretty positive ways. Better than prozac as my friend would say. I tell him he should move to Amsterdam. Which incidentally is on my top 10 vacation cities.... But I also know lots of folks who sort of became burnouts (or where at one point), so I have an overall positive but definitely cautious attitude. It really is like drinking for me. It's just annoying it has to be illegal and isht.
When we first did a few hits, I think I went into the typical "Talk a lot and talk fast", but I can sometimes slip into that mode anyway. It just becomes more obvious if I'm around mellow smokers who get more quiet. The physical sensation tends to go into my legs, and I get these weird prickly sensations, and I feel like energy is pushing the muscles around. I'm sure this makes no sense, but it's a familiar physical sensation that I can really describe. But this is almost what it's similar to -- you know when you were a kid, and you'd do the trick where someone would hold your arms by your side and you would use all of your energy to try and raise your arms for about 2 minutes, then when they person let your arms go, they would "float" upwards? Ok, it's sort of like that. My legs don't obviously float, but there's sort of an involuntary muscle push. This wasn't helping me when it came to standing on the train.
For most of the evening, I just had the typicals side effects of feeling relaxed while my brain sort of simultanesously runs at full prime. Sometimes it goes a little overboard, like when I was talking about counting everyone in the room, but normally I enjoy it. But to be honest, I think I prefer to be high alone. I was sort of itching for folks to leave my apt, then as soon as I did, I took off my clothes and just enjoyed the sensation of the cool sheets and being horizontal. I also had the ability to close my eyes and just imediately start dreaming. I can sometimes to this when sober but really tired, or sober and really wrapped up in some fantasy/idea. But when high it's much more involuntary and I feel a lot less direct control, so I can basically just enjoy the show.
The other weird thing is that last night I had a super piercing and sharp headache, probably from dehydration and too-strong drinks made by bartenders at the event. But then I was really high, so even though I could feel the muscles in my head twitching and pulsing, and I knew I had a headache, it didn't necessarily affect me (or incapicitate me) as far as normal headaches do. So of course I started thinking about the whole weed as a painkiller for folks with cancer and such.
Anyway, it was a good high, even if I overdid it a tad. But the fact that it's so good makes me wonder why I don't do it more often, while simultaneously scaring me into not doing it more often. Like I"m afraid I'll get all de-sensitized and isht. But I definitely think it would be nice to have on hand for the occasionaly anxiety attacks. Not much different than self-medicating with a beer or kava kava, assuming I keep it small doses not too often. And like I said earlier, I'm lucky that I tend to have a non-addictive personality (when it comes to substances, but not to people -- ha ha), plus I don't have any family history of addiction. And I'm a bit of hypochondriac, so I'd probably intervene myself before anyone else had a chance.
My primary experience with weed is with folks who have various "mental illnesses" who self-medicate themselves in a pretty positive ways. Better than prozac as my friend would say. I tell him he should move to Amsterdam. Which incidentally is on my top 10 vacation cities.... But I also know lots of folks who sort of became burnouts (or where at one point), so I have an overall positive but definitely cautious attitude. It really is like drinking for me. It's just annoying it has to be illegal and isht.
