No matter how hard I try

[raybear]

So, there's this guy in the mailroom, a westside Chicagoan, I'd bet ten bucks he's born and raised here and lived in the same ten blocks of neighborhood, and he started around the same time I did (officially) and he always say hi, followed by bud or buddy or man or bro or whatever else masculine pops in his head. Today I walked by his desk in the copyroom where a radio was playing, and thought, damn, I love when really straight people are listening to really gay music. In this case, it was Jennifer Lopez's 'Waiting for Tonight'.

Twenty minutes later, I went by again and it was Diana Ross's 'I'm Coming Out'.

Ten minutes after that, I'm sorting a bunch of collated copies when I suddenly lean forward and rest my head on the desk from laughing because I realize that Cher's 'Believe' is playing.

I haven't been back down there since, because I'm scared to learn what's gayer.