>I've also realized that when someone says "you're looking good! .........I mean, not that you weren't looking good before..." I immediately feel deflated and dis-ease about how my body is being looked at, examined, the comparison that didn't exist UNTIL they backtrack. But also, its the discomfort of being looked at intensely.<
I think that's what people are referring to when they say "you're hiding behind all that fat" - the discomfort of being looked at intensely. I suppose that being fat can minimize being noticed, but being icked out in that way is psychological and has nothing to do with being fat or thin.
I did Weight Watchers while I was at my last job and got down to a size 10. This one woman's husband would stop by the office sometimes and he noticed my weight loss and would be like "you're lookin' good! I mean, really...lookin' good!" He'd just go on and on. I was like "umm...I don't really want to have a conversation about my body with this weird old man..."
My driver's license says I weigh 126 - ha! It was true once...I lost a bunch of weight between eight grade and freshman year and got down to 126. My main motivation was movies about high school where they took showers after gym class and the thought terrified me. I thought "at least if I'm not fat, the experience will be slightly less embarrassing and I'll be less of a target for ridicule..."
Now that I'm all growed up, on the rare occasions I make it to the gym, I do kinda groove on the democracy of naked bodies in the changing room, like "whatever, they're bodies...they're how we get around..." Not that the bodies are de-sexualized, it's just kind of a nice feeling of "there's more to it than that, what bodies are all about..."
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>I've also realized that when someone says "you're looking good! .........I mean, not that you weren't looking good before..." I immediately feel deflated and dis-ease about how my body is being looked at, examined, the comparison that didn't exist UNTIL they backtrack. But also, its the discomfort of being looked at intensely.<
I think that's what people are referring to when they say "you're hiding behind all that fat" - the discomfort of being looked at intensely. I suppose that being fat can minimize being noticed, but being icked out in that way is psychological and has nothing to do with being fat or thin.
I did Weight Watchers while I was at my last job and got down to a size 10. This one woman's husband would stop by the office sometimes and he noticed my weight loss and would be like "you're lookin' good! I mean, really...lookin' good!" He'd just go on and on. I was like "umm...I don't really want to have a conversation about my body with this weird old man..."
My driver's license says I weigh 126 - ha! It was true once...I lost a bunch of weight between eight grade and freshman year and got down to 126. My main motivation was movies about high school where they took showers after gym class and the thought terrified me. I thought "at least if I'm not fat, the experience will be slightly less embarrassing and I'll be less of a target for ridicule..."
Now that I'm all growed up, on the rare occasions I make it to the gym, I do kinda groove on the democracy of naked bodies in the changing room, like "whatever, they're bodies...they're how we get around..." Not that the bodies are de-sexualized, it's just kind of a nice feeling of "there's more to it than that, what bodies are all about..."