Wait, don't you mean homosexual?

[raybear]

I was just having an inane conversation with a co-worker (who I like, in that generic co-worker way) about tip jars at the drive-thru window of fast food places and why drive-thru windows won't serve people who walk up and suddenly in the midst of some observation I make, she says, "yeah, that's gay."
I said, "well, I wouldn't call it THAT."
She of course says, "oh, I didn't mean it like that, I mean it like..."
and then I interrupted her before she could say the words 'stupid' or 'dumb' and said, "if you want to call something that's great and fabulous 'gay', I can get behind that. But not the other way."
"I didn't mean to offend you."
"I'm not offended, I'm just telling you that's not how I would use that word. It doesn't make sense to me the other way."

Then it got kinda awkward and I would have walked away except she was in my office. So instead I changed the subject to the work thing she initially came into talk about and she awkwardly said good night and I was like, sure, good night! And found the whole thing sort of hilarious. Except now, 10 minutes later, I'm realizing it also totally deflated my energy. What is wrong with people? I mean, use whatever language you want at home, I really couldn't give a fck, but given the millions of words available to us, how about in a work environment, we pick ones that have possibly a less problematic or loaded history? Is that really so hard? Apparently so.

Maybe I'm really just mad that she thinks I'm straight.

Comments

[crafting-change.livejournal.com]

I have a slew of new coworkers who use gay and retarded in ways that make me want to jump out the window daily.

[swampgirl.livejournal.com]

hey, i really like what you said!

i hate it when people say, "i didn't mean to offend you." or "sorry you got upset." like the core of the issue is some emotional response of mine. no, the problem is your use of language and ideas about the universe are fcked up! don't put it on me!

once i had a coworker go on about how all gays were going to hell. when i disagreed in some way, she said, "well, i'd never say it in front of one of THEM. i mean, i hate the sin but love the sinner." hmm, i thought, i just hate you....

it's weird when people make assumptions based on whatever they think they see about what's ok to say to someone. lots of times white people have seen my white skin and assumed it's an open invitation to chat about their racist ideology.

anyway. go you! and sorry you've got that bs sapping your energy at the office.

let's meet at the gym sometime soon. i've now hurt my knee but i think i can pretty much do a regular workout as long as i skip the leg press for awhile. it's a "swollen fat pad" on top of the right knee. ick. how about a sexy-sounding injury??

how are your knees and back? hope to see you soon. xo

[raybear.livejournal.com]

hey you!

last saturday i went back to the gym for the first time in a couple weeks, and so far, so good. i went to lakeview yesterday and was kicking myself for not texting you beforehand. i looked around the room though, just in case you were there anyway. ;)

let me know the next time you're going (and vice versa) and hopefully we can meet up.

[ky-fried-woman.livejournal.com]

I am so glad that you said what you said...even if it did lead to some intense awkwardness. You rock...and how somebody could not read you as gay is really beyond me. Perhaps you are giving off asexual vibes...ha ha ha ha ha ha ha!

[(Anonymous)]

I have this problem with the students at the school i work at - they are always saying 'oh that's so gay' or 'he's gay' - i get up them and pass them a dictionary and ask them to pick a more appropriate word to describe the situation they are in or have seen. Most times it works and the students learn not to use 'gay' as a way of describing something / someone.