raybear: (Default)
raybear ([personal profile] raybear) wrote2001-10-24 10:11 am

Well I've never been to heaven, but I've been to Mississippi.

My muscles are feeling very crampy this morning -- probably because I'm dehydrated from going out last night. Melanie invited me along to dinner with the Outlaw folks, which is the lgbt group at U of C lawschool. We ate at a ritzy Chinese restaurant in the downtown area that had tasty food but a cantankerous waiter. I wasn't sure how I would do, since I wasn't feeling particularly social, but I managed to surprise myself. And I was lucky to be sitting near cool, funny folks. I also think Melanie and I are starting to have patterns about how folks interact with us in queer settings. People either assume we're a straight couple, or that we're maybe Will & Grace. If anything, we're more Jack and Karen. ("Where's that potsticker man?!?") I always thought that as a couple we be taken for quasi-lesbians or a lesbian couple with a twist, which I thought would be annoying, but to be honest, I'd MUCH rather be seen a dyke couple than a straight couple. One of the Outlaw people, who was not trying to insulting at all, and was probably just trying to validate my male identity or something, made a comment last night about people going to Spin, and how there would be straight people there and indicated us. I was completely over-the-top offended (hello, drama queen?), but didn't say anything, since he wasn't trying to be rude or anything. And he did sorta backtrack and make some comment about how he shouldn't assume anyone's identity, etc. etc. I think it thoroughly confused his friend sitting across from me who didn't know I was trans and thought I was a gay man. Which I knew because when I opened my fortune cookie it said "You are currently considering a different lifestyle." And she retorted "What? Are you going to go straight now?"

Our life really should be a sitcom.

But as I told Di___ later at the bar, I was so appalled by the implication of being straight because I am the queerest of the queer. Shirley Manson wrote that song for me.

It was all very amusing.

I have lots of work to do, and I will be trying my best to avoid the time-trap of the net, particularly LJ. And in other news of the weird, I have therapy tonight and I'm not absolutely dreading it. Maybe because I have nothing to talk about. Except for maybe holiday plans. Ugh. The holidays. Should I leave town for Thanksgiving or Xmas or New Year's or none of the above? Ugh again.

[identity profile] milosh.livejournal.com 2001-10-24 08:19 am (UTC)(link)
yay being the queerest of the queer~!
i would also cry if someone read me as straight...

i love ray

[identity profile] raybear.livejournal.com 2001-10-24 08:28 am (UTC)(link)
mr. myles you are so sweet. thanks for making me have a big grin on my face.

ray loves you.

[identity profile] milosh.livejournal.com 2001-10-24 11:25 am (UTC)(link)
oh yay, that makes me very happy to know i made/make you smile :) :) :)
can't wait to see you and queernesssss

[identity profile] masscooper.livejournal.com 2001-10-24 08:36 am (UTC)(link)
Heehee...That song is on my extrasuperspecial mix CD. :-)

I would be unhappy to be thought straight, yes yes. ::sigh:: The constant dilemma.

Ry

me straight? no fuckin way.

[identity profile] bias-cut.livejournal.com 2001-10-24 09:14 am (UTC)(link)
ray--

i hear ya. there have been less than 5 occaisions in my entire life where i've been acknowledged by a stranger as queer.

when i'm out with ridley or other trans guys, whether they be just friends or 'something more,' i'm either seen as a fag hag or half of a hetero couple. when i'm alone, i'm probably seen as straight or (as i call it) 'ambiguously bisexual' because of my piercings. it's really the worst feeling in the world to me.


--tara

[identity profile] limenal.livejournal.com 2001-10-24 10:40 am (UTC)(link)
Between your sweater-vests and my irritability, I'd say we're CLEARLY Jack and Karen.
Love, Pet Clark (Oh, Petty!)

[identity profile] hissyfit.livejournal.com 2001-10-24 11:16 am (UTC)(link)
jack and karen are more fun anyway. i would definately perfer them to will and grace.

ray (and melro ifn she wants): you should come to kansas with riley for thanksgiving. we can take over my family's dinner and make it all kindsa queer.

p.s. transfags are the coolest kids i know.