raybear | (no subject)

Li___ cancelled on me for tonight and we rescheduled for Tuesday evening. Now I can go home and do laundry. And clean the apartment. Or just go to sleep. It's getting cold, so I just want to snuggle under the covers.

I'm also considering bringing home a suprise tonight....it's big and orange and rhymes with lumpkin. Maybe I can buy some olives while I'm at it.

My therapy session last night went pretty well, and she says I have a much more positive energy going on right now. We also talked about my tendencies to have really low cycles and then come out with a new insight. I don't feel particularly insightful, but I have been more productively analytical about things, I guess. And I haven't overreacted to anything in about 4 days, so that's a pretty good gauge for my mental health. Also, I just e-mail my parents and asked them what they're holiday plans were because I wanted to include them as a factor in my own holiday planning. I don't think I gave any indication that I would definitely see them, but I am still possibly considering seeing them. Probably only if MelRo came along though -- I can't imagine going by myself. Or maybe if they go to Tennessee I'll show up and be long lost cousin Raymond. I would possibly consider going to Mississippi if it was just my parents, aunt and grandmother. Hmm.

Or maybe my parents won't reply for 3 weeks to my e-mail and I'll just make plans without them and say "too bad you're too late."

But for the most part I'm feeling very little anxiety, guilt, shame or fear about the possibility of not seeing them this year. Which is pretty remarkable.