I hear Jello makes a good flan.

[raybear]

Today I'm feeling very foggy and disoriented. Which aren't exactly uncommon sensations right after waking up. But they haven't relented. I feel moody and silent and touchy -- but only when people try to talk to me. When left to my own devices, I'm perfectly happy. Luckily, the office is quiet today, so I can just work on simple repetitive projects, and maybe finally get around to reading some long e-mails in my inbox, including a New York Times article on The Simpsons and a scandalous story involving members of a certain boy band. Hopefully I'll get around to those today.

Last night I cooked the another meal that reminded me of home -- which I've been doing a lot in the past couple weeks. First was corn chowder, then chicken and dumplings, and last night was fried green tomatoes, fried okra and collard greens. Actually, before corn chowder there was homemade macaroni and cheese. Could I be more Southern? No. But thanks.

Right as I started typing this, an old Chicago song came on the radio. Wishing You Were Her, I believe is the name. But Peter Cetera is just too much to deal with right now. I can't talk about nostalgia and experience it at the same time. So let me change the radio station. Ah, Eve's Let Me Blow Yer Mind. Much better.

Anyway, last night I was realizing that I'm trying to reclaim a lot of my past, rather than just leave parts of myself behind, trapped by the painful and sad aspects. In other words, I'm not afraid to bring things into my present life. Which is probably related to the whole xmas thing I talked about yesterday.

Last night I talked to the boy, John, and we met a "date" for tomorrow instead of Monday. We only talked for about 5 minutes, but it was cool. He's very geeky and goofy and funny. Which are all good things. But part of the time he was almost too goofy, but that might have just been nervousness or trying to get a feel for each other, since we don't know that much about each other. We'll see. I'm not sure what I'm looking for or wanting from hanging out with him, other than the sheer experimentation of it all. I did a tarot reading with Damon last night, and I got a lot of swords. I mean, a LOT.

1. 2 of swords
2. King of Swords
3. Wheel of Fortune
4. Page of Swords
5. Knight of Swords
6. reversed Fool
7. Eight of Swords
8. reversed Ace of Wands
9. Page of Cups
10. Six of swords
11. Tower
12. The World

Yikes. So I'm obviously thinking a lot about things. But not necessarily feeling anything. Which fits, since I've been somewhat detached from the whole matter.

Oh jeez. That's fcking Contagious song just came on.

Comments

[wearemany.livejournal.com]

Ooh. Yes. Do get caught up. I'll make it worth your while, I promise. ;)

Re: Holiday plans. Wrote you back BEFORE I read your LJ. Carisa's still here for New Year's, though certainly y'all could join up before/after/during.

Tempted to come to yours for the Holy Days. But then again, I may be in New York before that and while technically I have no job to miss, I might not have enough money, either.

More later.

[raybear.livejournal.com]

we're definitely thinking about SF for new year's, as long as it's cool for you to have multiple guests. we promise we're easy to entertain, and often just entertain ourselves! we're sending out feelers to other folks we know in the area, too.

and please come to my Norman Rockwell holiday, if you're able. i have lots of space and the ability to sleep many.....