"damn, Trina looks gooooooood. oh, did I say that out loud?"

[raybear]

So I sent an e-mail to the boy, sort of clarifying what I meant by just saying "uh, I'm trans". This is part of what I wrote:

i also thought perhaps i should, um, clarify one of my
comments from last night. i realized that perhaps I
wasn't detailed enough, which could cause some
confusion (and it wouldn't be the first time!). i
forget that sometime I tell people i'm trans and they
say "that's cool, whatever floats your boat" and
believe that I'm saving my pennies for breast implants
and that someday soon I'll ask them to call me
"Ramona". no, i'm not planning on leaving my
male-ness anytime soon, since it took me so long to
get here. I'm actually a transguy, as in, I wasn't
*born* male, but I live as one now. which is partly
why I nearly choked on myself when you cracked a joke
last night about me being castrated as a child. very
funny and almost true? (in a Greek tragedy sort of
way.) maybe i should tell people that instead....it
might make more sense to some folks....

so yeah, that's the deal. if you have any
questions/concerns/jokes, please share. it's not
every day that people talk about being a
queer-transguy-ethical-slut-bisexual-fag-geek-boy-with-a-big-queenie-sense-of-humor.
but i hate labels.

it's sort of funny to me that folks assume I'm an MTF. I mean, I'm not offended or anything -- I love my trans-sisters! I think it's just astonishing that I'm assumed to be born male.

So yeah, we may hang out again, and maybe he'll come to the sit-n-spin or something, and I still think he's funny and cute, but I'm not necessarily interested in pursuing him hardcore. Or even softcore. Maybe Skinemax. Or USA Up All Night.

Speaking of the gig, I'm getting excited again about DJing. I'll actually be doing 2 sets -- an early warm-up set before the party gets going, and then my official set later on. There's no real battle element, which doesn't surprise me, since I think the hiphop element is missing. Do deep house DJ's battle? Do they scratch? I don't think so. So anyway, it's more of an "applause-o-meter" type deal, where judges circulate in the crowd and observe how many folks are dancing and being enthusiastic about the music. This weekend I must practice my Missy Elliot medley.

Today I got a ride to work from Ms limenal who feared I would die in a terrorist attack on the subway. Ok, not really. She was just being nice. We watched Almost Famous last night, and afterwards, while brushing our respective teeth, I made her laugh so hard she had to grip the shower rail in a drama queen fashion. Except it was geniune. I take such pride in my work.

Coming soon....therapy this evening. But next -- lunch with freakysparks!

Comments

Hold me closer, Tiny Dancer (size queen!)

[brucebanner.livejournal.com]

The DJ gig seems to be rockin like none other. Once I'm super sober for one year, I swear I'll battle with you...hardcore, in that HBO sort of way. ;)

anywho: the thing you wrote to the guy is great. I think it's cool that you still explain to people that you are trans. Last night I got into this HUGE discussion with this MtF about her feeling that "all trans people simply move through the trans community on their way to being normal people hidden in society" and I said "ALL?" "NORMAL?" "What the FUCK?!?!"

yeah. I think that's hardcore that you let it be known. (hardcore in a 2-a-m-'adult'-section-rental way)

Oh, and this chick's other 'theory' that she sprung on me is that "trans is just like black. If blacks learned to behave, white people would accept them adn racism woudl be over. If we as transpeople learn to act like good citizens, normal people will accept us adn transphobia will be over. We bring it on ourselves."

Vin was there. We nearly killed the bitch. I argued with her until I wanted to beat her adn then I got up adn left. My black trans ass does NOT need to prove ANYTHING to *anyone*! Can I get an Amen?

tellin it to you hardcore (in that plain brown wrapper way),
Joe

Hardcore, like Lil Kim

[raybear.livejournal.com]

>I think it's cool that you still explain to people that you are trans.

I think it's weird that I HAVE to explain to people that I'm trans!! Like, I'm used to explaining it because they call me "she" -- but I'm still not used to doing it because they assume I was born male.

I do know of the stealth phenomenon -- and I certainly don't think all trans folks do it. Nor do I find it normal. To quote you, what the fuck? But I am a bit more sympathetic to folks who go stealth than I used to be. Sometimes after all the battling and stressing and trauma, it's very tempting to just relax into the assumptions of the world and no longer fight upstream. I know I wouldn't do this forever, even if I wanted to, but sometimes I just don't fight folks who assume I'm bio-male. It's not worth my time.

And I agree with your "friend's" theory about race and trans. That's why Damon and I are friends. I'm teaching him to be a good black person, and he's teaching me to be a good trans person. Share the love. Or the stupidity, in this case.

So....not to offer temptation, but does your year-long sobriety include just playing on turntables in someone's home, but not in a club? Cause we can fck around on my crappy decks and crappy mixer when y'all come visit us in a couple weeks....you can teach me the crab scratch. Ha. Damon really wants me to learn that, since I'm a Cancer and all.

oh, and one last thing, as you requested -- AMEN!

ray

Re: Hardcore, like Lil Kim

[brucebanner.livejournal.com]

see, I'm black AND trans, so I should be lucky that the 'normal' people let me breath air at all. GRRR!!!

my one-year rule goes for ALL dj stuff. Even burning mixed CD's. I'm a cruel cruel task master, but I think if I'm this harsh to myself, I'll hurry up and quit for good just so I can enjoy myself again. However, on the bit about burning mixed CD's, I do allow for that only once a month *IF* I was sober for that whole month, which rarely happens. Ah! the joys of substance abuse. I suggest you never start, dude. ;)

We'll be there around Dec first, if our driving works as planned. I'll give you a specific time in a few days.

educate the masses, grab all the asses,
Joe

FTMTFTMTFTMTF . . . ???

[ridleymae.livejournal.com]

heh. i am kinda flattered when that happens. though i feel kinda invisible . . .