now you can have me when you want me.

[raybear]

Today's (initial) entry will not conform to the usual standard I try to keep in writing, i.e. it will be less coherent than usual. Too much to say, not enough time, not enough brain power to Make It Happen (like Mariah Carey).

Lesson One: In which Omniscient!Raymond answers all of the recent brain ramblings of Raymond the Lesser.

There's no time limit on feelings. There's nothing wrong with residual anger or hurt, or even non-residual if it was not fully dealt with in the beginning. However, replaying incidents in your mind and wondering if certain phone calls had ended differently is not terribly conducive. Instead, examine the triggers -- what's causing you to think so much of incidents of 6 months ago? (And also, of 12 months ago? Of 3 years ago?) The concept of things always capable of changing is a double-edged sword. On one hand, things that are bad will soon be over. On the other hand, things that are good will soon be over. The solution? Change what you're measuring your happiness with.

Lesson Two: In which a Short Chronology of Events is told.

After leaving work last Friday, we walked down the Magnificent Mile and I avoided questions about my family life and we stood in line for Garrett's popcorn. I made chicken and dumplings for dinner and had interesting conversations with her aunt while they made a trip to the grocery store. We watched Waiting for Guffman (I sometimes wish I hadn't lost count of how many times I've seen it) and the opening ceremonies. In the morning we made crepes. In the afternoon we visited the zoo. In the evening we drove them to the airport. On the way home I had the urge to stop at a mall and spend the evening walking around. Yesterday involved lots of nothing and seeing Monster's Ball. I occasionally feel guilty for being a lounge king and enjoying hours of just watching TV or listening to music with little interaction with human beings. But most times I don't. When I lived by myself I enjoyed the weekends to myself with no obligations or pretenses. Even if I was occasionally depressed by my ability to go through the whole day without showering or getting dressed.

Lesson Three: The Dissatisfying Conclusion
I'm about to meet with an organization consultant to talk about my work environment and where I think we're going as an organization and where I'd like it to go. I feel nervous because I didn't fill out the survey completely so I'm sure I'll have to do lots of talking. I feel less nervous because she has a mullet. Actually, it might qualify as a rat-tail. Oh, how I wish I was embellishing.

Comments

[milosh.livejournal.com]

hi raymond. rat tails are pretty intense. i have a friend, liana, who had hair down to her butt and then she cut it all the way to her chin, but wanted to keep some of it so she left a 2-foot "sting ray" (uh uh, it was a rat tail, but she insisted it was a "sting ray" :P ). she still has it, even though her hair is back 1/2 way down her back again. it's crazy intense.

*myles*

[freakysparks.livejournal.com]

I need a mullet wig. Maybe you can snip off her rat-tail and I can glue it on?
Are we still on for lunch this afternoon?

[raybear.livejournal.com]

as you've probably figured out already, i had to unintentionally bail. my eleven o'clock meeting went until 1 pm, and i'm still preoccupied (and even occupied) with this assignment I wrote about on Friday. aiyahyahyahyah.

maybe we'll make it someday. i hope we will.

[freakysparks.livejournal.com]

I believe in us.