my cost don't love a thing.

[raybear]

If my life was a movie, it would be told in flashback form. It would start with a future self being interviewed and going back to tell specific elements of the story. But maybe only for the first half or so -- the second half would not be a neat narrative, but a messy combination of current life experiences that would show what I had or hadn't learned. I've been thinking about this lately for some reason, but because it make it easier to plan ahead. If I can envision my future self talking about my current self, and hear his criticism and understanding and insight, then I can plan better for what I want to come next. Sort of a weird technique that tricks me into living in the present, and it often works. Especially in relationships. If my future self gushes eloquently about specific people in my life and important they were, I can appreciate them in the moment, without getting hung up on whatever's currently annoying or boring me.

Why I woke up thinking about this I don't know.

I had a bizarre dream where I got warned at work for having a phone conversation that had "s/m depictions". In my dream, they were listening to every phone conversation on tape, trying to build a case against another co-worker, but they heard a conversation between me and freakysparks making lunch plans, and apparantly we made a few "yes sir" type of jokes. In real-life my work is far from anti-S/M and they wouldn't have the ability to tap the phones even if they had the time to listen to the phone conversations. But I am occasionally paranoid they're monitoring my web use and how much I'm online (I don't think they'd even care WHAT I was doing online, only that I was doing it for an hour instead of working), however in reality they don't really have time for that either.

I finished making the mixtapes. I still have to dub some copies, print covers and then mailing them off (hopefully tomorrow).

Today is President's Day, and really who cares about this holiday except furniture stores, but I'm happy I don't have to work. Plans for the day include eating leftover quiche for breakfast, watching TV, going for a walk, maybe renting a movie, and going over to Damon's to check out his turntable which ceased working.

Last night we gorged ourselves on sushi and it was a good thing. Being stuffed on sushi has never caused me any internal distress, which I find amazing. Nutritionally, I imagine it to be the perfect food. And if I had only one type of food for the rest of my life it would be that.

Or pork barbecue. Hey, I am of Southern origins.

Comments

[freakysparks.livejournal.com]

Even if Big Brother is watching, I'd bet they don't do keystroke monitoring.
Sir.
;P
Thanks for lunch on Friday!

[raybear.livejournal.com]

yeah, I know. I'm more concerned about being on websites with obvious URL names relating to sex or shopping. i don't fear being seen on salon.com or cnn.com, but want to avoid excessive time on www.goodvibes.com or amazon.com. though most gay sites I can perhaps get away with because it's news or research related -- like planetout.com. even if I am surfing the personal ads for nice pics or funny profiles!

how did the performance go last weekend? i'm hoping a post will appear soon!

[freakysparks.livejournal.com]

It went well - but I caught the stomach virus that hit my roommate and my Special Friend (who was kind enough to take care of me in a most respectful way.)
So that's kind of distracting, at the moment. I'll write a more detailed review soon :)