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raybearWell, this is a change of pace. I keep trying to update but then I interrupt myself to do work. Seriously. So the good news is I'm getting stuff done. I also had a good conversation Friend Coworker where I think I adequately expressed my concerns regarding giving her computer projects, but in an encouraging way so it was less of a criticism session and more of a pep talk. Which is what I wanted. But I don't have experience in that department, so often I just sort of tell someone "um you're doing that wrong" rather then "hey, let's talk about a way to fix this". Plus, we talked about me giving her some of my backlog projects, so I can be more on top of things. And being more on top of things makes for two things: happier work experience, and more importantly, progress towards leaving this job.
Last night I hung out with Damon before he left for the weekend -- he's going to a family funeral that will be pretty stressful since it involves family he hasn't seen a several years. There's a lot going on around and near me, as far as friends having troubles -- LJ and non-LJ folk. I'm not sure if I notice it more now since I'm not feeling unusually up, or if it's just strange timing.
Today on the way to work I played a game with myself while listening to my walkman -- I would focus on one piece of the music, and then theoretically explain to myself how it was made. I was not doing this intentionally -- I was just being a geek because it was fun. I felt most proud while listening to Cat Power's American Flag because of the level of detail I was able to ascertain. Headphones rock -- they pick up on all the nuances so much better.
Last night before leaving work I printed out the 200 page manual for my new toy. Today I punched holes and put it in a binder. It's the little things.
Damn, sometimes it really is. Little things can make me feel powerful and confident and happy, and other times little things can push into the depths of anxiety and frustration and sadness. That doesn't seem right sometimes, moments when I"m convinced everything has a chemical base because it's so irrational. Other times it seems perfectly normal and human. That we take on too much to logically process the big, real, life-changing moments, so we end up expressing such big emotions regarding such tiny insignificant experiences.
Last night I dreamt I was in San Francisco. Staying in a downtown area that was a cross between Chicago and New York. I was there with MelRo and we were making bets on whether we would drag our ass to the Castro to go to a bar on Sunday night and be out late, or whether we would be lazy and stay at the hotel and go to bed early. In the morning, I woke up to some strange man in my bed who I had apparantly had sex with the night before, but I couldn't remember it and didn't want to miss out on the opportunity, so I was trying to seduce him again in the morning before he went home to his wife and kids. And here's the kicker -- I was me, but in the body of a blonde 19 year old girl. And I knew it! I knew I was in someone else's body, and instead of freaking out about it, I decided to try and use it to my advantage. Which was sort of a shame since he wasn't even that good looking or charasmatic. Almost Tom Skerritesque (with moustache) but less attractive. I think I finally convinced him to fuck me in the bathroom or something, because I don't actually remember that part of the dream, but I remember having that memory. If that makes sense.
Last night I hung out with Damon before he left for the weekend -- he's going to a family funeral that will be pretty stressful since it involves family he hasn't seen a several years. There's a lot going on around and near me, as far as friends having troubles -- LJ and non-LJ folk. I'm not sure if I notice it more now since I'm not feeling unusually up, or if it's just strange timing.
Today on the way to work I played a game with myself while listening to my walkman -- I would focus on one piece of the music, and then theoretically explain to myself how it was made. I was not doing this intentionally -- I was just being a geek because it was fun. I felt most proud while listening to Cat Power's American Flag because of the level of detail I was able to ascertain. Headphones rock -- they pick up on all the nuances so much better.
Last night before leaving work I printed out the 200 page manual for my new toy. Today I punched holes and put it in a binder. It's the little things.
Damn, sometimes it really is. Little things can make me feel powerful and confident and happy, and other times little things can push into the depths of anxiety and frustration and sadness. That doesn't seem right sometimes, moments when I"m convinced everything has a chemical base because it's so irrational. Other times it seems perfectly normal and human. That we take on too much to logically process the big, real, life-changing moments, so we end up expressing such big emotions regarding such tiny insignificant experiences.
Last night I dreamt I was in San Francisco. Staying in a downtown area that was a cross between Chicago and New York. I was there with MelRo and we were making bets on whether we would drag our ass to the Castro to go to a bar on Sunday night and be out late, or whether we would be lazy and stay at the hotel and go to bed early. In the morning, I woke up to some strange man in my bed who I had apparantly had sex with the night before, but I couldn't remember it and didn't want to miss out on the opportunity, so I was trying to seduce him again in the morning before he went home to his wife and kids. And here's the kicker -- I was me, but in the body of a blonde 19 year old girl. And I knew it! I knew I was in someone else's body, and instead of freaking out about it, I decided to try and use it to my advantage. Which was sort of a shame since he wasn't even that good looking or charasmatic. Almost Tom Skerritesque (with moustache) but less attractive. I think I finally convinced him to fuck me in the bathroom or something, because I don't actually remember that part of the dream, but I remember having that memory. If that makes sense.
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Family Funerals
Date: 2002-03-08 09:47 am (UTC)Good luck with getting ahead!
Re: Family Funerals
Date: 2002-03-08 10:27 am (UTC)