raybear | there is no self.

I was reading something yesterday about the concept of "self" and what it means to make it permanent, and thinking about the metaphor of self as a stream or river and being an 'entity' but not made up of one static concept or object. And I'm thinking of this because I'm not the same person I was 2 hours ago when I posted. Which true in general and everyday and every hour, but I'm noticing it more right now.

I barely new Lefare in the grand scheme of things and life and such, but he had quite a dynamic personality that made a big impact on our acquaintanceship (the two things I remember most are his story about being on the crowded bus with a client: "Lefare! Lefare! I'm gonna suck your dick!"; and more recently, him making me blush hard by flirting shamelessly when I wore my suit to work for an event). More importantly, he was a dear friend of Niecie's and she lost him unexpectedly. I want to attend his services with Niecie, but his homphobic hating mother is in charge and may cause difficulty in letting his real friends and family attend.

Which of course made me think about my own parents and their lack of participation in my life. And then what happens? My father just e-mailed me. At my work account. From his work account. And he's all like "how are you? haven't heard from you in awhile." (Maybe because I was waiting on a reply from you.) Also, they bought a new house. Which means I may have to make a visit soon to retrieve old items I'm "storing" there.

I'm going to write my self-review instead of thinking.