dear america. i'm what you've made me.

[raybear]

So I had to buy lunch today and I had to get money, and I hadn't been to the cash station in awhile -- more than a week. And in that time, things went to hell. Basically my rent check got cashed earlier than usual (I REALLY need to stop assuming it will be cashed after the 15th, because they're been depositing it closer to the 10th these days), so a couple small checks got bounced. Then my therapist deposited my check a day early, when I asked her to wait until the 13th (and she agreed). So that check bounced, too. I ended up with over 100 dollars in fees. I was so mad at myself and fumed for several blocks in search of cheap food. After getting something at Subway, I came back to the office and called the bank. And I told a great story involving a check I mailed to get deposited last week that got returned to me in the mail. The woman removed two of the charges (the maximum she's allowed, which I knew from an incident involving a late paycheck from the bookstore a couple years ago), but she was really nice and offered to transfer me to a supervisor who could possibly take off more charges. I didn't have to do any demanding or anything. So the supervisor had me tell the story again, and she did a "one-time courtesy removal" of two more late charges. In the end, I'm paying one fee instead of five fees.

Should I feel strange about my lie? No. I don't really. My bank makes so much money off overdrawn fees. And about 90% of the time it's my stupidity in timing deposits, so the money is there, just a day or two after. I've never had a negative balance for more than 48 hours or so. And $28 seems excessive, especially when some of the checks were for amounts LESS than that. I think what I feel strange about is my ability to lie so naturally and effortlessly and to get something out of it. I feel guilty about deceiving them and taking advantage of their willingness to aid someone who's been a victim of a "mixup by the post office". But part of me feels I earned that money back with my brilliant academy award winning performance. And there have been other times earlier in my financial history when something like this did happen (a payment lost in the mail) and I just paid the fee because I didn't think you could really fight to get them back. I've been taught to be so intimidated by finanical institutions, and whatever they say goes. I even felt that some with Telecheck. I almost started to believe I DID owe them money, which is completely ridiculous since checks were stolen and my identity was faked!

I also feel the bank owes me because I sucked up every damn late fee last summer when I operated for 3 months nearly in the red, so now I want some slack cut. A hundred dollars doesn't mean shit to the daily monetary intake of at Bank One, but I can make that go a long way in my daily life.

I will, I will, I will be more fiscally responsible. I will, I will, I will. I will make this happen. I will pay off my debt and save money. I AM doing it. I will continue doing it.

Comments

i will too

[ridleymae.livejournal.com]

Ray-

i feel you about the bank. i woudln't feel too bad either about lying to them.

Rids

Re: i will too

[raybear.livejournal.com]

it's funny -- i don't feel bad about lying to the bank as an instutition. it's more that i feel bad about lying to the two lovely individuals who were nice to me on the phone.

Re: i will too

[ridleymae.livejournal.com]

right. that's what i meant!!! ;-)

[mellowdramamama.livejournal.com]

God, I know exactly how you felt. I just went through a string of 5 overdraft fees at my bank because I miscalculated by a few itty bitty dollars. No one at my bank was nice enough to take off my 29.95 fees though (lets just say I've been through this before). My theory is that banks wait to deposit different checks just to fuck you over. Anyway, raybear, I added you to my friends list because I always visit your page anyway. Hope thats okay!!

[raybear.livejournal.com]

I think I was so thrilled by having the fees removed because I've paid so many in the past. I thought for sure they'd look at my record and say, "you seem to rack up these fees somewhat often -- why should we believe you now?"

And of course, they won't believe me again, I'm sure. A one-shot deal. So now I must attempt to make good on this. I'm a mini-Jean Valjean who''s been redeemed by the priest....but not.

ANYWAY, I noticed you're in Atlanta -- what part of the city? I grew up in Stone Mountain and my parents live there now but are heading to Lawrenceville sometime soon. I just got news this past week that they bought a new house.

[mellowdramamama.livejournal.com]

I'm in Doraville, basically at the top of Atlanta's perimeter. Close enough to the action but not quite as noisy. I'm the music buyer at a metaphysical bookstore called Phoenix and Dragon. I've only lived in ATL for like nine months now, so its still very new. Did you party much when you were here? Any favorite spots?

[raybear.livejournal.com]

ah yes, I know Doraville. I mean, not well, but I"m familiar with the area.

unfortunately, I left ATL when I was 18 to go to school, so I didn't do much partying and always have a hard time recommending places to folks! I hung out in Decatur some, and Little Five Points, all those little bars that had music as well, like Eddie's Attic. I've also been to one of the gay bars a couple times -- The Other Side. Oh, and one time I went to Kaia (Kaya?) on Peachtree which was sort of fun in a weird trendy way. If you like people-watching weird trendy people, it can be interesting without being too annoying.

I've never been to Phoenix and Dragon, but it sounds familiar -- is it in Doraville? Maybe if I ever make it back to Atlanta in the near future I can stop in.