raybear | following limenal's lead

Thank you, Melro, for posting your version of the story here. I liked reading a story where I was a main character and I didn't write it!

Here's an alternate version of the tale -- not the way I tell it to folks in person, but made up of pieces of LJ entries from the time period. It's a perfect example of how LJ doesn't quite cover everything, since I fail to mention NUMEROUS details that I find pretty important now. I think I go into more details in later posts -- probably because I was so busy e-mailing her 15 times a day that I never took the time to write in livejournal. Plus, I feared jinxing the whole deal since it was going so well.

Friday, December 8th, 2000. (I was going through a period of solitary confinement, which is why my horoscope is mentioned at the end.)

"Tonight I go to the volunteer party for work, and then retire to my bachelor pad for a rousing evening of video games and mixtapes with my buddy. It's like an 8th grade sleepover night. I even have Oreos. But I think we talk about sex more than I did as a 13 year old.

Cancer is supposed to come out of his shell tonight. I want to be careful and not poke out too fast -- I might retreat again, this time deeper. I creep out, little by little, exposing as little soft gooey inside as possible...."

Saturday night, December 9th, 2000 (This entry is also shaped by a minor disappointment re: this other boy I was quasi-dating.)

"Things were sort of improving, but I think it was a false start. I hung out last night with D___ and we went to the office party, and I ended up sorta kinda picking up this woman. I mean, we basically just talked for awhile, but I ended up going home with her phone number, so D___ says that counts. She was nice and cool, and I'm going to call to see if she wants to come over and watch Queer As Folk tomorrow with my half dozen other friends. But I don't know about this dating thing. But then again, this is a bad week, so I should probably take a few deep breaths (i.e. wait a week)."

On Wednesday night, I had a dream about our date on the upcoming Friday. It's long, but you can read it HERE.

On the day of the actual date, I was to preoccupied with writing livejournal entries about being disowned by my brother. This topic came up on our date, as previously mentioned by

limenal.

And this is what I had to say following our first date:

"In other news, my date on Friday went incredibly. It's become quite the intense situation -- not intense in a bad way, but intense in a "this is so good I'm scared" sort of way. It's also weird that this is the 3rd December of ths past 4 years that I started a relationship with someone. Okay, M___ and I haven't proposed marraige or anything, and we haven't had long involved discussions about how we're defining ourselves....but I think we both know we're going to see a lot of each other in the next month (and hopefully more). We're both going out of town on Friday though, and she won't be back until after New Year's, which I think is a good thing, because I'll have some time to sort my feelings out. I keep saying that I'm not ready/not wanting a serious relationship right now, but then again, I haven't met someone that I clicked with so intensely.
But the bottom line is, she's really funny, really sweet, and damn good in bed."

I love you so.