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You're triflin'.
May. 17th, 2001 11:34 amI've managed to spend the entire morning doing 2 things: 1) reading a seventh circuit opinion and trying to figure out what the fck it means for us (work) and 2) taking tests on www.emode.com. So far I'm a Bernese Mountain Dog, I should become a Detective, my aura is Violet, my personality is Rock Star, my celebrity match is Cameron Diaz and probably some other stuff I've forgotten. Highly addictive, mostly because the quizzes are so short. I'm all about instant gratification.
I'm having lunch today with Melanie, and I think I'm going to try and talk about what happened Tuesday night. Though my instinct is to wait until "bear time" i.e. private time at home. I guess I'm not looking to actually talk about what happened, but more I'm just planning on telling her that I haven't forgotten about it, and if we aren't going to talk about it, that's fine, but I would prefer a definitive decision of not-talking about it, versus just acting as if it didn't happen.
And in slightly-related-but-not news, my libido in the past few days is the highest than it's ever been in my life. Thanks for that, hormones. It's not even cool though -- it's just annoying. Having to masturbate 4 times a day is not my idea of feeling functional. I'm only pseudo exaggerating here. I think I'm going to attempt to push the energy into other arenas. Like playing soccer. Ha. Again, I'm not really kidding. I have to purchase some shin guards and cleats, but I'm going to attempt to play as a sub on Sunday with Melanie's team. If it goes fairly well, maybe I'll play in the summer league. This will be my first attempt to play a sport as a "guy". I didn't necessarily think it an issue until recently, but on mixed recreational teams, they have ratios and standards that are different. Plus, I think among recreational female players I'd rank as average talent, but among recreational male players, I'll be below average. Oh well. Maybe it'll just inspire me to play better.
But back to sex. The weird thing about my libido changing is that mentally I've been thinking about going on short abstinate period. Like a week or two. Which I'm sure seems absurd to some folks out there, but I'm not talking about not having sex with Melanie for one-two weeks. I'm talking about no orgasms for one-two weeks, which means no masturbating. Though I'm not sure what would be the exact purpose of this exercise on my personal well-being -- it could just be a random urge, so to speak. Maybe I'm just trying to "punish" my body for doing things I don't want it to do -- like having morning wood, afternoon wood, and evening wood (Sorry if this is too much info for anyone reading, but guess what? It's my journal. ). Or at least use abstinance to "cleanse" myself. Sort of like when I start smoking too much (like more than 3 cigarettes a week), I sort of get scared of addiction, so I'll go several weeks without one, just to prove I'm okay. I'm in a phase like that now -- I smoked an entire pack within 4 days, which is fairly unheard of for me, so right now I'm on day 3 of no-nicotine, and plan on staying that way for another week. Then I might go back to 2-3 cigarettes a week. I tend to smoke the way an average person drinks.
Who knows, maybe my mind is just pretending I'm Catholic so I have guilt issues.
I'm having lunch today with Melanie, and I think I'm going to try and talk about what happened Tuesday night. Though my instinct is to wait until "bear time" i.e. private time at home. I guess I'm not looking to actually talk about what happened, but more I'm just planning on telling her that I haven't forgotten about it, and if we aren't going to talk about it, that's fine, but I would prefer a definitive decision of not-talking about it, versus just acting as if it didn't happen.
And in slightly-related-but-not news, my libido in the past few days is the highest than it's ever been in my life. Thanks for that, hormones. It's not even cool though -- it's just annoying. Having to masturbate 4 times a day is not my idea of feeling functional. I'm only pseudo exaggerating here. I think I'm going to attempt to push the energy into other arenas. Like playing soccer. Ha. Again, I'm not really kidding. I have to purchase some shin guards and cleats, but I'm going to attempt to play as a sub on Sunday with Melanie's team. If it goes fairly well, maybe I'll play in the summer league. This will be my first attempt to play a sport as a "guy". I didn't necessarily think it an issue until recently, but on mixed recreational teams, they have ratios and standards that are different. Plus, I think among recreational female players I'd rank as average talent, but among recreational male players, I'll be below average. Oh well. Maybe it'll just inspire me to play better.
But back to sex. The weird thing about my libido changing is that mentally I've been thinking about going on short abstinate period. Like a week or two. Which I'm sure seems absurd to some folks out there, but I'm not talking about not having sex with Melanie for one-two weeks. I'm talking about no orgasms for one-two weeks, which means no masturbating. Though I'm not sure what would be the exact purpose of this exercise on my personal well-being -- it could just be a random urge, so to speak. Maybe I'm just trying to "punish" my body for doing things I don't want it to do -- like having morning wood, afternoon wood, and evening wood (Sorry if this is too much info for anyone reading, but guess what? It's my journal. ). Or at least use abstinance to "cleanse" myself. Sort of like when I start smoking too much (like more than 3 cigarettes a week), I sort of get scared of addiction, so I'll go several weeks without one, just to prove I'm okay. I'm in a phase like that now -- I smoked an entire pack within 4 days, which is fairly unheard of for me, so right now I'm on day 3 of no-nicotine, and plan on staying that way for another week. Then I might go back to 2-3 cigarettes a week. I tend to smoke the way an average person drinks.
Who knows, maybe my mind is just pretending I'm Catholic so I have guilt issues.
