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May. 16th, 2001 10:37 amTherapy yesterday was good. She totally blows my mind sometimes, and not because I didn't think she was smart or good at what she does, but because she seems to know exactly what to say and when. I had this moment when I left of thinking that her services are worth every penny, if not more. I just don't have the money to pay her what she's worth! I guess I'm lucky to have her anyway.
One of the things that's stayed with me the most after my session was something she said about labels being dangerous. I was talking about my cycles of depression, my depressive tendencies, my anxiety attacks and issues, etc. etc. and she said that one has to be careful when labelling problems, that it can cross the line to being limiting or even abusive to the self. In that, by saying "i'm depressed" or " i suffer from depression", it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. This was sort of intriguing to me, because a couple years ago it was a big deal for me to sort of own my condition, so to speak, and be able to stand up and say "yes, i feel depressed and yes, it's ok, and yes, it's a real phenomenon, not just perceived." And I don't think my therapist is trying to say it's all in my head or whatever. I think it's sort of her way of saying, ok, so what? What are you going to do about? So what that I have an anxiety disorder and that I drive myself into near-panic attacks? That's great that I've figured it out, but what am I going to do next? How am I going to deal with this?
[I was having flashbacks from Mad TV on Saturday night to Bob Newhart saying "STOP IT!!!"]
She's also really good at giving reassurance about how I'm feeling, saying it's ok to be sad, mad, stressed, anxious. That it makes me human. I'm constantly having to retrain myself about that, since I tend not to validate my own feelings. Otherwise I tend to bulldoze myself with them.
I'm glad that my current work is going well -- my last therapist wasn't a bad experience, but it wasn't as great as what I have now. Though it probably helps that I've been seeing her for a year now. I know it doesn't work wonders for every person for every issue at every time, but for me right now, I think I'm a prime candidate.
At this time, I think it's appropriate to share a poem I wrote, entitled "Why I Hate Therapy":
Because it works.
One of the things that's stayed with me the most after my session was something she said about labels being dangerous. I was talking about my cycles of depression, my depressive tendencies, my anxiety attacks and issues, etc. etc. and she said that one has to be careful when labelling problems, that it can cross the line to being limiting or even abusive to the self. In that, by saying "i'm depressed" or " i suffer from depression", it can be a self-fulfilling prophecy. This was sort of intriguing to me, because a couple years ago it was a big deal for me to sort of own my condition, so to speak, and be able to stand up and say "yes, i feel depressed and yes, it's ok, and yes, it's a real phenomenon, not just perceived." And I don't think my therapist is trying to say it's all in my head or whatever. I think it's sort of her way of saying, ok, so what? What are you going to do about? So what that I have an anxiety disorder and that I drive myself into near-panic attacks? That's great that I've figured it out, but what am I going to do next? How am I going to deal with this?
[I was having flashbacks from Mad TV on Saturday night to Bob Newhart saying "STOP IT!!!"]
She's also really good at giving reassurance about how I'm feeling, saying it's ok to be sad, mad, stressed, anxious. That it makes me human. I'm constantly having to retrain myself about that, since I tend not to validate my own feelings. Otherwise I tend to bulldoze myself with them.
I'm glad that my current work is going well -- my last therapist wasn't a bad experience, but it wasn't as great as what I have now. Though it probably helps that I've been seeing her for a year now. I know it doesn't work wonders for every person for every issue at every time, but for me right now, I think I'm a prime candidate.
At this time, I think it's appropriate to share a poem I wrote, entitled "Why I Hate Therapy":
Because it works.
