it's that time again....

Shoutouts (in no particular order, and not necessarily LJ folks)

**Happy Birthday Day, J!

**Meg!. I had an awesome time last night at the Kings performance. And I almost wish we had just kept driving around last night and kept talking. Though I'm already hurting this morning from the lack of sleep! But we should definitely hang out again soon. Perhaps when I make you come over this weekend and move a few boxes. Don't worry -- I'll reward you accordingly. Oh, and check out Alex's journal -- he gives you a mighty fine shout-out.

**ALEX We missed you at the show. Sorry about the whole ordeal. Oh, and Damon said that based on his expert brief first impression, you seemed like a cute guy. Really sweet. That's nearly a quote. Yes, we should hang out more this weekend. Hanging out with you makes me a happy happy boy.

** Ridley: I just want to say congrats on getting some action. Yummy.

** Tara: Good luck with the Bjork tickets. And thanks for the ES comment. I may write more on that page, but for now I just want to point out the fact that we're both switches with interest in exploring the other side....why aren't we in the same city?? :)

** S.N.: Was I terribly annoying and/or an asshole the summer you were in Reno when we attempted to re-patch our friendship after it got damaged by the attempted relationship? Did we have a horrible time fixing things? If so, I'd obviously still say it was worth it. I'm not so sure this time around with K___. Do you think we're meant to stay friends with all lovers? Am I being too much of a lesbian? In some way, I feel my current experience is paralleling your recent developments regarding C.

** Damon. You don't really read my LJ, because it would just be repeated information. But I still feel the need to publicly say that you're an awesome hangout buddy on top of being my best friend. Glad you had fun last night and I could add to your catalog of queer experience.

** K____. You're absolutely right. I've never forgiven you. I don't think I have interest in doing it, either. Yet I still have hope for moving forward, because I trust that I will forget the things I won't forgive.

** RYAN!! Your Offspring performance was the isht. It was even funnier seeing your faggy ass on stage with that hot high femme. Sorry I didn't see you after the show. We need to hang out again, too. (And I want to hear more about camp trans.....)

** Mistress Minax. I can't believe you did PJ Harvey. Why am I so intrigued? I'm sure the magic will be gone after coffee.

** Sa___, Ai___, Le____ and Ju___: Thanks for the reminders of my past. I can't believe I saw FOUR people (who don't know each other) last night at the Kings show that I haven't seen in over a year and who have known me in various incarnations. Quite the mirror to myself and my changes. Thanks for that. And thanks for helping me feel like Chicago is my home.

** Melanie. I feel further away from you than I ever have. I can't remember anything. I'm realizing how fallible our relationship is, which scares me. I didn't realize what a fcking unrealistic romantic I was. I hope when you return you won't mind taking some extra time to woo me back. I promise it won't take much at all.
I love you very much, and in just over a week, we'll be in the same breathing space.

Spitting in the Wind

I've been spitting in the wind
I chanced a foolish grin
And dribbled on my chin
Now the ground shifts beneath my feer
The faces that I greet never know my name

Just give me something
I'll take nothing
Just give me something
I'll take nothing

Now the drought is crippled by the rain
That hammers on my pain
We lose ourselves again
But all we need is to find a place to look
Our worm is on its hook
A love which dangles free
Lets watch it swimg against the waters flow
In doubt the courage grows with no guarantee

Just give me something
I'll take nothing
Just give me something
I'll take nothing

And so it goes
A moral to the tale
As tortoise catches snail
A strong heart will prevail

It keeps on pumping
It still needs something
Just give it something
I'll take nothing
Just give it something
To keep it pumping
And I'll take nothing
Just give me something

-Badly Drawn Boy

(no subject)

Just got off the phone with Melanie, and good news! She will be returning on next Friday evening after all. The fiasco with the bridesmaid dress has been downgraded from a level 9 to a level 5, (on a scale of 10, with 10 being the most annoying/time-consuming). Which means that the dress is being over-nighted to me at work (!!) then I will bring it home and she'll have it fitted here, than will ship it back. So no out of her way 10-hour trip to NYC.

We're both really anxious about the return. For some reason it makes me feel better to hear her anxiety. It also sort of makes me rise above my own isht so I can be more logical and help her feel better (i.e. reassure her), which in turn makes me feel better.

I shared all my e-mail stuff with K___, too, which helped. I like that we can share ex drama easily with each other.

AND she received her bday gift today, which makes me happy. It makes me even happier that I didn't throw down the extra 10 bucks to ensure it would arrive today. Her actual day is on Sunday.

I can't believe she'll be back in a week. I'm very excited. and scared. and nervous. and worried. and anxious. and happy. and pleased. and hopeful.

ugh. where's that damn kava kava....