weekend

On Friday, despite being near the point of exhaustion, I had a great dinner with Riley, Alex, Kamika, and Damon. It was awesome meeting you, Riley -- I echo all the things Alex said, too. And I meant to give you my number when you left so we can hang out again soon! Welcome to the neighborhood.

On Saturday my friends ran out of time and weren't able to help me move with their Uhaul, so I did all the furniture myself. Damn. I moved the full-sized box springs, the 8-foot bookcase, and the futon couch frame (which I had separated into 4 big pieces) all by myself, threw them on top- of the Volvo, tied them down (halfway into the ordeal it started to rain), then drove them to the new apartment, unloaded them all myself. (Hey Ryan -- this is what I was doing when you called -- sorry I missed you this weekend!!) I was fcking exhausted by Saturday at 3 pm. I pretty much laid low the rest of the evening. Made a couple phone calls, watched some guilty pleasure WB shows, then fell asleep before Mad TV had barely begun.
On Sunday, I got up early and talked to Melanie in honor of her birthday (so many Leos in my life, all of the sudden....), then picked up Meg after lunch, who graciously and wonderfully helped move some of the last big stuff from the old place (including the darling hamster who is now back in her original home).
Last night I chilled with Meg and her snazzy gf, Damon, Br__& St___, and the evening included cheesesteaks from Philly's Best and a viewing of old episodes of Sex and the City. yee-haw.

A coupld random items from the weekend: El___ e-mailed me on Friday, then called me last night. I didn't pick up the phone. Also, MelRo's X called last night!! I find it sort of bizarre that when she calls she doesn't leave her name or number. She just sort of says "this message is for melanie..." then keeps going. So anyway, hopefully she won't be too freaked out by her calling. Quite a weekend of ex's. Speaking of, K___ wrote me back this morning, and surprise surprise, she wrote me a freaking normal e-mail with idle chit chat. I'm so fcking impressed. I'm resisting my temptation to write her back this instant, and instead will wait a week or so. Just because I don't want to start up this dynamic of exchanging long e-mails with a short turnover rate. you know what I mean. If I write back right away, she'll feel obligated to right back immediately, until we just run out of things to say and get too annoyed to reply. I've been there before. So I'll just wait a bit. Maybe there's hope for us yet to interact okay. This will probably help my independent processing I've been doing about my own feelings. It's funny how you'll spend on this time deconstructing a relationship and analyzing an ex, but it really has NOTHING to do with them. It's really just about yourself.

I'm also going to see Milton's play tonight. I decided to look a little dressy, even though it's not the Lyric or anything. I look so cute in a sweater vest and tie though, how can I resist an opportunity to dress up?

Alrighty -- I need to construct a pleasant and polite quasi-blowoff e-mail to El___ than get to work.

But in happy news, in approximate 110 hours, MelRo will be home!!!

Are you okaaay? Look like you got a lot to say

Ok, so was this an okay "blow-off" e-mail? It's 100% true, in case you're wondering. I really am super-busy this week. I guess I wanted to compose a note that says "I don't really want to go out with you again, but you're nice and I don't want to be an ass." For those wondering why I wasn't more direct (i.e. no, I'm sorry I'm not interested), she hasn't actually expressed interest in hanging out or going out, so I think it would presumptuous to say no to something that wasn't propositioned. And I think this note is much better than just "forgetting to return her call".


Hey El___,

Just got both your e-mail and your vmail this morning. Things have been pretty busy in my microcosm. Orca busy, as my buddy Damon would say. I've spent the past 2 weekends moving all of my earthly possessions by myself with a friend's wonderfully spacious old borrowed Volvo. I'm mostly done, though I still need to return to the old place this week and throw away a bunch of stuff, as well as clean. I'm also trying to meet up with two different people on 2 different nights to wish them farewell before leaving the fair city of Chicago. Plus, tonight I'm going to a friend's play. And the g.e. (girlfriend-equivalent) returns on Friday. So I'm pretty swamped for awhile, and then (luckily) I go on vacation on the 31st for almost 2 weeks. So my August isn't quite shaping up how I planned, though it's not necessarily bad by any means. E-mail's probably the only way I can be tracked down these days, and even that's sketchy because work is getting in the way of my life and all. They keep asking me to do things for 8 hours straight....
Anyway, I'm glad that you had a fun time at Michigan and hope it was restful. I'm sorry I have no idea when we might be able to hang out, though at some point soon I'll probably run into you in this small world we call the Chicago queer community.

Ray

Addendum: Well, this must have been TOO nice, because she wrote back this short e-mail saying "let me know if you need help/company while moving or if you have an unexpected free time and want to hang out". Then she asked where I was going on vacation. So now the question is, should I be slightly rude and "forget" to write her back? Or should I write back answer her question about my vacation? Is this a ploy to get me to respond to her e-mail? Why are grrrls so funny/weird?
I'm leaning towards not replying right now.

the continuing saga....

Props to Jessie for helping me brainstorm this.

Hi El____,

I can't remember if I told you where I was going on vacation -- we're delivering a friend's car out to California, and then spending a few days out there between the bay area and santa barbara before flying back.

Thanks for the offer to help move, but I'm pretty much down to the grimy stuff that I like to hide from other human beings. So it's probably much better for me to finish up on my own.

I should also just be really honest and say that yes, I am indeed really busy this week (it wasn't some 'line'), but also I'm really needing and wanting to focus on my relationship with my primary partner, so I wouldn't really feel comfortable hanging out with you again. I'm not trying to assume to know what your intentions or interests are, but I just wanted to eliminate any guessing on your part and let you know what was going on at my end. I'm sorry I didn't say this in my last e-mail, but I wasn't totally sure if you wanted to hang out with me and in what capacity, and I didn't want to bring something up if it wasn't going to be an issue (i.e. I'm really busy and you didn't want to see me anyway). And I guess I'm always striving to be a "good guy", so I'm always trying to find the optimal blend of high honesty and low weird-ness or hurt feelings.

I hope this makes sense. Thanks for being understanding.

Ray

despite my best intentions

I think my cool exterior of non-excitement about MelRo's arrival is slowly eroding away. quick -- where's the kava kava. hook me up, baby.

she will be here very very very very very very very very very very very very very soon.

relatively speaking.

ten weeks feels very short when you're on the end of it. but it's still a loooooong time to be away from someone I love so much and with whom I love being.