"damn, Trina looks gooooooood. oh, did I say that out loud?"

So I sent an e-mail to the boy, sort of clarifying what I meant by just saying "uh, I'm trans". This is part of what I wrote:

i also thought perhaps i should, um, clarify one of my
comments from last night. i realized that perhaps I
wasn't detailed enough, which could cause some
confusion (and it wouldn't be the first time!). i
forget that sometime I tell people i'm trans and they
say "that's cool, whatever floats your boat" and
believe that I'm saving my pennies for breast implants
and that someday soon I'll ask them to call me
"Ramona". no, i'm not planning on leaving my
male-ness anytime soon, since it took me so long to
get here. I'm actually a transguy, as in, I wasn't
*born* male, but I live as one now. which is partly
why I nearly choked on myself when you cracked a joke
last night about me being castrated as a child. very
funny and almost true? (in a Greek tragedy sort of
way.) maybe i should tell people that instead....it
might make more sense to some folks....

so yeah, that's the deal. if you have any
questions/concerns/jokes, please share. it's not
every day that people talk about being a
queer-transguy-ethical-slut-bisexual-fag-geek-boy-with-a-big-queenie-sense-of-humor.
but i hate labels.

it's sort of funny to me that folks assume I'm an MTF. I mean, I'm not offended or anything -- I love my trans-sisters! I think it's just astonishing that I'm assumed to be born male.

So yeah, we may hang out again, and maybe he'll come to the sit-n-spin or something, and I still think he's funny and cute, but I'm not necessarily interested in pursuing him hardcore. Or even softcore. Maybe Skinemax. Or USA Up All Night.

Speaking of the gig, I'm getting excited again about DJing. I'll actually be doing 2 sets -- an early warm-up set before the party gets going, and then my official set later on. There's no real battle element, which doesn't surprise me, since I think the hiphop element is missing. Do deep house DJ's battle? Do they scratch? I don't think so. So anyway, it's more of an "applause-o-meter" type deal, where judges circulate in the crowd and observe how many folks are dancing and being enthusiastic about the music. This weekend I must practice my Missy Elliot medley.

Today I got a ride to work from Ms limenal who feared I would die in a terrorist attack on the subway. Ok, not really. She was just being nice. We watched Almost Famous last night, and afterwards, while brushing our respective teeth, I made her laugh so hard she had to grip the shower rail in a drama queen fashion. Except it was geniune. I take such pride in my work.

Coming soon....therapy this evening. But next -- lunch with freakysparks!

ugh.

work drama.

another fck-up with the brief. minor. the postage meter was set for the wrong date on the papers served to opposing counsel. which is minor since the court was correctly served. and the actual proof of service sent to opposing counsel had the correct date. I'm no lawyer, but I don't think it should be assumed that the person issuing a proof of service is lying under oath. I though the default is honesty, not perjury. anyway, I didn't change the postage meter, and don't know who did, though I should have double-checked it. however, i was too busy running to the post office with a box of briefs at 5:55pm -- couldn't one of the attys done that in the meantime?

so anyway, now i'm stressing about how this is going to fall on my head.

(why don't they just fire me and get it over with? why don't I just quit?)

apparantly I'm not good enough to be 100% perfect in every detail the last hour before deadline with the two of them breathing down my neck and rushing because they're still revising and drafting at 4:30 pm the day it's due and won't give me a final copy so I can complete production accurately. and I DONT CARE. it's unreasonable. because I know that's impossible. Or unpossible. (yes, I still make Ralphie jokes, even when I'm fuming. I have to keep my humor somehow....)

I haven't been officially addressed regarding this matter. maybe I won't be. though last time it took nearly a week, so who knows. And one of the attys was already all pissy to me -- I knocked before coming into her office to get a file and she was on the phone. I didn't knock that loud. I didn't know she was on the phone. And besides, if I come in without knocking I get dirty looks. Or I get a funny anecdote. It just depends on her mood. (Her moodiness is not very sexy, I might add.)

{rant mode off} now i feel better so i can enjoy my lunch break.